Post by The Curmudgeon on Sept 29, 2009 2:56:39 GMT 2
No. Just... no.
Ahhh, 2007. Remember it? Smashing Pumpkins (AKA Billy Corgan's One Man Band) returned, Radiohead turned the music business on its head with the "pay what you want" system for the In Rainbows album, Leon Jackson became the worst winner of any competition since the dawn of man and, oh yes, a song spread all over the music channels and radio stations like lyrical syphilis. A song so knuckle-chewingly irritating you just KNEW it was going to be a hit.
That song, of course, was Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston, MTV's very own black Poppin Fresh. Bit of an albatross was Beautiful Girls, because Kingston's been unable to shake off the damn song ever since, and every other release (including an excruciating duet with Natasha Bedingfield) has been met with widespread indifference.
So what is a boy, or in this case, record company, to do? How about teaming him up with this year's producer of choice, RedOne? Y'know, the guy behind the sound of pop gems like Little Boots, Lady GaGa and Pixie Lott? What could possibly go wrong there? Hmmmm. Everything, then.
For starters, RedOne REALLY needs to get a new sound. The synth-pop, multi-layered vocal may well have provided him with hit after hit, but it really is starting to sound a little worn-out, especially on something as inane and phoned-in as this. GaGa's got the attitude, Pixie Lott's got the legs and Little Boots has got the songs. What in the name of God does Sean Kingston have?
And I know its just a party record and everything, but man these lyrics are terrible. I'm not expecting Blowin' In the Wind or anything, but were these written on the back of a (super sized) Big Mac Meal on the way to the studio or something? When he's not talking about the "shawty" (I'd like to put a bounty on the head of whatever idiot coined THAT stupid phrase), he's making face-palmers like "Shawty is cool like the fire" (huh?) and "hotter than the sun of south of Spain" (as opposed to that pesky cold sun everywhere else, then?) then trying to make out he's some kind of irresistible love-god ("little doubt I'm taking it home"), when actually, the only time he even sounds half convincing is when he starts singing about birthday cakes.
Not wishing to sound like Simon Cowell or something, but when it comes to this sort of thing there are singers, there are songwriters, there are dancers and there are popstars - and Sean Kingston is none of the above.
So while this song isn't as annoying as Beautiful Girls (if only because it didn't clog up the charts anywhere near as much), it may well be the best of a bad lot. Because are you ready for this? His new album features auto-tune (wow, there's a shocker) and, gulp, a "rock" song featuring, gulp and double gulp, Good Charlotte.
Are you scared yet?
SEE: Sean Kingston - Fire Burning
