Joe McElderry - The Climb

[The Curmudgeon]

You lose! Good day, Sir!

Sigh. You could not only set your clock to it, you could set your calender to it, too. X Factor starts; a non-stop procession of whinging, pleading, "oh I want this SOOO much. My dad died, by the way, just thought I'd mention that" idiots line up, sing other people's songs in a nice voice and get hailed as "brilaint, hes defo gt teh x factor lol" by the sort of people who deserve to be placed in the middle of heavy traffic. Then one particular simpering sap with a nice voice releases a ballad, complete with slow build up and a "rousing" group chorus in a video with fireworks in the background and that drivel scores the Christmas number one as it's bought by people who don't know or appreciate music. It's been the same old story for years. So it was, so it shall be. Forever and ever, Amen.

Until now.

Because, of course, this oily, grinning Joe McElderry creature did NOT score the Christmas number one, thanks to a heavily publicised and celebrated Facebook campaign that saw Rage Against the Machine's towering, explosive anti-authority statement "Killing in the Name of" crush this years karaoke non-entity, becoming arguably the greatest Christmas number one of all time in the process. I could write four gushing pages about all of this; of how the RATM song sounds even more vital now than it did 17 years ago, of how much of a joy it was to see the band fully getting into the spirit of the whole campaign, ("we feel like superheroes!"), of how cynical and self-assured the X Factor were about their own dominance (Louis Walsh before the single was even released, "it's gonna be Christmas number one", blissfully unaware of the storm brewing online). I could write about how good it was to hear Killing in the Name of played in clubs and pubs on freakin' Christmas DAY to a crowd of disgusted and confused X Factor fans.. it was a glorious, glorious time. Jon and Tracy Morter, the two scamps behind the Facebook campaign, are added to the Curmudgeon's list of heroes.

So, yes, I could go on about all of that, but we are here, of course, to talk about Joe McElderry and this year's, ahem, Christmas number two, The Climb. Yeah, I know. I don't want to either.

Perhaps trying to avoid the outrage caused by 2008's choice of single, (Leonard Cohen's cherished, sublime Hallelujah), Cowell this time decided to tackle something a little less revered and untouchable. So instead of a Leonard Cohen cover, we're now "treated" to a cover of.. a Miley Cyrus song. And guess what? They even managed to ruin that, too.

And honestly, no-one expects originality or relevance with these talent show records (that began and ended with Girls Aloud), but it's almost like someone pressed "default" mode in some "Create a Pop Idol" machine, because Joe McElderry is SO bland, so vanilla and uninteresting, not to mention such a predictable choice for this sort of show you feel like checking the back of his neck for a barcode. The only thing of any note with Joe McElderry is the fact he has enough teeth to fill two heads.

JabberJoe factor aside, why DID this fail when so many before it have succeeded? Clearly RATM had the better song, but that hasn't stopped the X Factor puppets before (indeed, Alexandra Burke's admittedly decent but overblown, pomp and circumstance version of Hallelujah triumphed over Jeff Buckley's majestic, heartfelt version last year). It could be said that the public and the media got behind the Facebook campaign and, whilst that is true, the real problem lies with both the singer and the song.

Joe McElderry is terrible, that much we know already. But the fact is, Cowell slipped up big time with his choice of song. The Climb is a song even the delicious Miley Cyrus couldn't save, a ho-hum ballad that doesn't really go anywhere or do anything. It's easily her worst single (except for Hoedown Throwdown, of course.. shudder), so God only knows why Cowell picked it as THE song of 2009's X Factor. And when you get a singer as limp and uninspiring as McElderry behind it, all the usual bells, whistles, fireworks and choirs in the world can't save it. Zealots may argue Joe didn't get to number one because of musical snobbery and a mean-spirited campaign. The fact is he quite obviously doesn't deserve to get to number one. It's an awful song and he's an awful pop star. Justice, for once, was served.

Prediction time; I was right about the doomed "one album and then obscurity" career of another X Factor "winner", Leon Jackson. Ditto Eoghan Quigg. And Journey South. And Ray Quinn. I called it on every single one of them, and mark my words boys and girls, Joe McElderry will be NO different, in fact his chart battle with Rage Against the Machine will be the only thing he is remembered for. Sure, his first single will sell, but he can join the rest of the cardboard cut-out cretins on Pop's Great Scrapheap soon after.

So it's abysmal. Surprise surprise. The greatest thing about this song, though, is the fact that now, when December looms and the music channels start churning out "Every Christmas Number One" lists, tucked in at 2009 amongst the X Factor drones and novelty records is, amazingly, wonderfully, Rage Against the Machine because of McElderry's failure.

For that, I think we can all be thankful.

See: Joe McElderry - The Climb
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLC-DGiPBRU

[natalie]

i am accually disgusted at you......... everyone has a personal taste in music and what one person likes another will hate and here is an example so what RATM got xmas number Joe has a massive support of fan's we didn't surge download to get him to number 1 what use guys done was one of the most pathetic things i have ever seen. And if you don't like X-Factor or Joe McElderry don't listen/watch nobody is making you's there are plently of other tv channels out there u aint just restricted to ITV believe it or not might come as a shock to u but its true and there also plently of other artist's and songs u can choose to listen to so not any need to listen to Joe if u don't want to his fan's obviously want to. And no we are not brian washed i would say the people who supported the campaigne are they were told to download a song in done it the word SHEEP come's to my head....

Now in responce to you saying Joe wont have a caree well how do u no ?? can u see the future or something look at Leona Lewis JLS Shane Ward Alexandra Burke they have all done well and are very successfull so what they aint all done as much as the example i have here but you have clearly stated that already and i think you will find that Leon Jackson is realeasing another album has been took on by another record lable.

Also I am not ur normal X-Factor fan am not 14 and love joe because he is cute i like him because he is a good singer i like his style and he has a killer smile him been good looking is just a bonus I always watch it as i like the show but once it's done i dont really support them after that but i feel Joe McElderry is really Good and is a inspirtaion to alot of people out there so why do all use people have to knock what someone else like personally i feel Joe well be excellent.

And as for RATM been x-mas number 1 hahahahaha was a complete JOKE never heard such a pathetic song it wasnt even a good song they weren't even singing it was just noise and shouting it was such a lovely christmas song really delieveried that message of hope inspiration etc that the majority of sane people are looking for at that time of year i honestly don't know what ur hearing but i think its terrible really depressing but like i said no1 make's me listen to the songs therefore i wont i suggest u do the same if u dont like Joe McElderrys music dont listen to it simple as that

[The Curmudgeon]

Look, everyone! A moron! Take pictures!

[natalie]

Why do use people not accept other people like different things and i aint no moron thats all i have to say on the matter i think this my opinion i dont want u and i aint asking you to agree but freedom of speak i have said nothing wrong i respect ur opinion u are obviously to shallow minded to respect other people's points of view or be civil but i can and will be so like i said i repect ur opinion i just dont agree with it

[The Curmudgeon]

Who can write that they're not a moron and then write something like "freedom of speak" in the same paragraph?

[Mel]

oh give it up. you rage fans are like a child who's won a game and now won't shut up. wow Rage got Xmas number one. sure great for them.

but Joe did have a number one. (and i disagree that he's 'terrible' you can say that The Climb is bland or whatever but you surely aren't implying he has no vocal abilities are you?)

and also if male contestants are awful. why are JLS so successful?

look mate; i'm not going to argue but seriously Joe's fans are over it. why don't you get over it. people can buy Joe McElderry if they want (as with any other singer).

and if you're going to be as rude to me as you were to Nataile don't bother replying.

i'm not a tweenie before you say it. i'm 18 and yes i like the X Factor and I like Joe but i don't ram my opinons at others and judge them for the music they listen to and the telly they watch.

[Laura Sanderson]

Well done! Another RATM arse licker fan who once again appears to be such an arrogant, narrow minded little twat. What the hell is the matter with you? Is it REALLY too fucking hard for you to get it into your thick skull THAT PEOPLE ENJOY DIFFERENT TYPES OF MUSIC. Not once have i slagged of RATM song BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU (AND MANY OTHER RATM FANS) i understand and grasp the concept that everyone is different and people enjoy different music. Your musical snobbery actually makes me sick. I just hope for your sake,that your not actually like this in real life

[Duckman]

ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM

Once again, you made a dead on review about these worthless talent show "musicians" (note the quotations). And that thing with Rage Against the Machine beating McElderry brough a smile to my face.

[Bob Ford]

ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM

You Sir are just another "Hater" & anti-establishment punk. Your Hatred of the Establishment Music Industry like X-Factor and those like Simon Cowell that try to help unknown talent discover their Dream is not even exceeded by Hitler's Hatred of the Jews. People like you are like a "festering Sore" on the Human Race that should be removed in whatever way possible.
There is nothing relevent or positive about the Song "Killing In The Name Of"..I believe the Title should tell people All they need to know.
Joe's Song "The Climb" knock Rage out of the # 1 Spot One Week later but you didn't tell the people that in your review did you!!!! NO!

[Brainhead1]

ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM

So Bob Ford, basically what you're saying is that someone posting a negative review of an album you like is actually more heinous an act than systematically rounding up and brutally exterminating over 6 million people?

Then you go on to say "People like you are like a "festering Sore" on the Human Race that should be removed in whatever way possible."

The stupidity and irony in this comment is so immense that its kind of overwhelming.

[Burr]

ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM

Bob your argument is based on the fact that you seem to think that such shows are providing a service by unleashing this derivative trash upon the world. The train has derailed before it even started moving.

[Alan Montgomery]

ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM

Sorry, brainhead, but I work in the music business (opera, actually) and, while music styles do change, so do the standards of what passes for acceptably good entertainment. Forgive me but when I hear a singer singing, I want to hear words, dynamics, and a sense of style. Do I only go for the winners? Of course not. Carrie Underwood won AI, and I have yet to catch more than 10% of the words in any of her songs. So many singers today think that attitude is all there is - and questionable lyrics (which aren't heard anyway, so I suppose it doesn't matter). It matters to me. So when a young man like Joe McElderry steps on the stage and confidently projects the soul of a song, every word, thought and pitch in place, I can't help but say "YES!" It has nothing to do with politics, "being fixed" or things like that. It is only about the talent the young man showed on his first appearance (dressed in a simple plaid shirt and slacks) to his last. I'll take that kind of talent any day over the empty bombast of many musicians out there who sing and leave no impression whatsoever.

[T Lasky]

ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM

I completely agree with you, though, ironically not with the particular examples. I never liked Bob Dylan much. The Sex Pistols were alright, but if you're looking for a genius with a horrible voice; Darby Crash was much better. THe only guy to "out-vicious Sid Vicious."

[Robert Stewart]

ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM

You my friend are one Bitter Person! So sad that you can't even realize talent when you see it, that just tells me that you my friend at some point and time have been "shut down" with your talent or the lack their of. Just sayin....

[Chris Avery]

ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM

Wow your bitter. Must have tried out for American Idol and didn't make it. Joe can out sing any new voice we have heard the past five years. You must be very bored to write a comment as long as a book. Sorry to tell you it was incorrect and you should try again. Ill bet it took you two weeks to write it as well LOL!