FAKERS!

[The Curmudgeon]

Imposters - End this charade!

Seeing as I've been away for a bit, I thought I'd come back with something very Curmudgeon-like: a hate-filled rant about something. And ooooh, let me tell you - THIS really grinds my gears.

See that picture above? If you don't know who that is, count yourself lucky. He was one of five members of a stupidly successful pop group called Steps, who were just about bigger than Jesus over in the UK. Then they split, tried solo deals and are now of the way of the rest of the Celebrity Living Dead - making a living from Reality TV.

Now, why a picture of him? Simple - he's a Faker. He's one of these annoying twats that thinks if they wear ripped jeans and have spikey hair - that makes them RAWK. Never mind the fact that, TWO WEEKS ago, he was in a Reality TV show called "Totally Boyband", in which former boyband stars team up to make a Super Boyband (erm, despite the fact there were three girls in Steps), this guy is still all about The Rock Music. He is now in a rock band called The Latch. Yes, that's right, a rock band. Although you wouldn't think it reading what he has to say on The Latch website..

"The solo music I make now is more rock than pop and my influences for this are really the songs IÂ’ve grown up with, plus the music I like to listen to today. From Duran Duran, Bon jovi and U2, to The Calling , No Doubt and Maroon 5."

SOLO music? I'm sure the other guys in The Latch, you know - the ones that play the music - will be thrilled to read that. Plus, call me a nitpicker, but when you think Rock Music - Maroon 5, The Calling and Duran Duran don't exactly spring to mind, do they?

OK, that's enough about that idiot. He's just a PERFECT example for a wretched new species out there. You see them everywhere, now that rock is "in", they're wearing old Led Zepplin and Aerosmith t-shirts, from pop totty like Britney to your empty-headed slag on the streets. They couldn't tell you a Led Zepplin SONG, but they're digging the rock look. It's the same with pop acts now; record companies have seen the pop thing is out, so they get the same five kids who, five years ago would have been dancing in matching outfits, to dressing them up like "rockers" and sticking a hired band behind them to make the pesky music.

It's not just rock music that's being pilfered by the ignorant. This obsession with "retro" has people with no interest in what's on the T-shirt trying to fake it and look cool, hence the resurgence of A-Team, Knight Rider and various other 80's classics being splashed on "ironic" T-shirts to people who didn't even like it first time around.

Now, this isn't some poe-faced Grandad "you weren't even BORN when that came out" rant. Hell, I wasn't born when a vast majority of Bowie's music was made, but that doesn't stop him from becoming one of my all time faves. And I'm sure people who adore Shakespeare weren't around when the ink was still wet on his work. Genuine fans can be of all ages. But jeez - they have to be genuine.

It's a sad state of affairs when Generation Dead-Eyed have no real culture of their own that they have to start and steal from ours - past and present. We should NOT accept it. When we see someone like that (and you know you will), we should stop, point and scream, Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers style. Or at least, come on to the Fortress and insult them.

[InvisibleWolfMan]

You BASTARDS!

'Nuff said. Until the record industry strikes back.......

[InvisibleWolfMan]

My god, they've been at this since the 80's!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcbawg56vfk

[anonymous]

LOL@YOU.

I bet you're some ugly bastard who sits at his computer typing shit, like the bollocks that's in this post. It's boring. Cunt.

[The Curmudgeon]

Well, that's what I get for putting my site address around for any old scum to read it.

Wonderful piece of writing there, genius. Although why you call your own post "bollocks" is a little strange.

Still, you got the "sits at his computer typing" part right, otherwise, you know, how would any of us even be here?

Try and think a bit before posting again, moron. I know it hurts, but it's worth it so you don't look like a dick.

[The Curmudgeon]

Wolfman - WOW. Kidd Video is something I've never heard of, but jeez.. it made the Power Rangers look like Reservoir Dogs. Who the hell was the gimp with the glasses? And why the hell did the UK never get that show?

[InvisibleWolfMan]

anonymous,

Frankenstein's monster called, he wants his I.Q. back.

The Curmudgeon,

That gimp with the glasses is named....get this.....

Whiz.

It's been FOREVER since I've seen the show and I can only guess the Americans were SO proud of Kidd Video that it couldn't bear to syndicate it to a UK channel. Enjoy reading more about this GONE WITH THE WIND of rock cartoons:

www.kvflipside.org/

Incidently, Whiz is probably the true name of anonymous.

[trashcanman]

I imagine the UK is blessed by not having the reality show "Rock Star: Supernova" so I'll fill you in. Dave Navarro, Tommy Lee, Gilby CLarke (ex-GNR), and Jason Newstead of Metallica fame are looking for a singer for their band by auditioning a bunch of obvious American Idol rejects who sing mostly Coldplay-style pop rock songs and try to look really hardcore by gritting their teeth when they sing and stage-diving at the end of the song. I watched it once and it made me extremely sad as a fan of rock music and an ex- fan of most of those musicians (always thought Navarro was shit). One guy butchered -nay, FUCKING MUTILATED-Sublime's "Santeria" and actually human-beatboxed during what should have been the guitar solo. Human beatboxing!!! UGH, I want to put a knife in my eye just remembering it. There is no way this will not be the worst band of all time. Should they actually summon up the audacity to record themselves, i may make it my mission to hunt down each and every fucker who buys it just so I can ask them "What the fuck is wrong with you?" not to be an asshole...I really want to know what sort of moron would pay money for that drek. Possibly an anonymous poster on this very website. Well, I hope that made you feel better, knowing that we're suffering from horrible reality television and rock wannabes across the pond as well.

[The Curmudgeon]

Sadly, we have Supernova over here as well. But it's not really a big deal show - it's just there, festering away on MTV.

We also had that other abysmal effort involving the remaining members of INXS trying to find a new singer. I didn't watch it, but I'd imagine the winner gets to piss on Michael Hutchence's grave.