The worst sight of 2012.

[The Curmudgeon]

Three days. Three fucking days I made it into this year before hoping that the predictions come true and we're all blasted off the face of the planet. Because, seriously.. we are fucking DOOMED as a species.

So, a bar in Gran Canaria has karaoke. Now, I'm used to seeing terrible things (and hearing) when it comes to that shit. But I'll tell you first about the last terrible, awful thing I once witnessed.

The guy who was running the karaoke brings his 9 year old daughter up for a duet. She chose the song. He would sing the guy part, she would sing the girl part. Awww, everyone said. Isn't that sweet.

The song? "Beep" by the Pussycat Dolls.

If you're not familiar with that one (reviewed on Amazon a long time ago by your humble narrator), it contains these cute, fluffy, totally appropriate lyrics;

Male: It's funny how a man only thinks about the (BEEP), you've got a real big heart but I'm lookin' at your (BEEP)

Female: "I don't give a (BEEP), keep lookin' at my (BEEP), I'mma do my thing while you're playing with your (BEEP).

Uh-huh. So yeah, I thought that one would never be topped. Until the third of January 2012, that is.

A FOUR YEAR OLD GIRL sang, while her dad stood watching and singing along too, Rihanna's "S&M" song. Those lyrics in full;

Feels so good being bad (Oh oh oh oh oh) There's no way I'm turning back (Oh oh oh oh oh) Now the pain is my pleasure 'cause nothing could measure (Oh oh oh oh oh)
Love is great, love is fine (Oh oh oh oh oh) Out the box, outta line (Oh oh oh oh oh) The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more (Oh oh oh oh oh)
'Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it Sticks and stones may break my bones But chains and whips excite me

Oh, I love the feeling you bring to me, oh, you turn me on It's exactly what I've been yearning for, give it to me strong And meet me in my boudoir, make my body say ah ah ah I like it-like it

Four years old. And someone actually questioned him on it, and he said, "oh she doesn't understand it. She only likes singing the chorus." Ah I see, the chorus about loving the smell of sex? Right. Then that's perfectly acceptable, then.

I mean.. shit. What the fuck? When did this happen? When did this sort of nightmarish parent from hell shit become the norm?

[trashcanman]

When people started making children's music with pornographic lyrics. This is becoming more and more commonplace. I'm the furthest thing from uptight, but it's a fucking psychological fact that exposing young children to sexuality at a young age leads to fucked up people, much more so than fictional violence. But sex sells and the man and woman-children that pass as this generation's adults have musical taste that has devolved to a Barney and Friends level of immaturity so it's only natural to combine simplistic kiddie pop with sexual lyrics for maximum profit. Unfortunately, it's our culture that pays the ultimate price as we now have music that is designed to appeal to toddler brains and is filled with extremely vivid descriptions of sexual acts seeing that it is meant to be played in dark rooms full of sweaty people desperately grinding against one another in hopes of sharing their STD's.

[Mrs_C]

I tell thee.

I have said for years that kids are becoming disgusting creatures.

I for one have assured mr C that when we have kids they will not be exposed to this rubbish for as long as possible. They will NOT watch idiot shows with barbie dolls with big eyes and boob tubes. They will watch Fraggles, Sesame Street, Turtles, Bagpuss, My Little Pony (the old ones not the garish recreation), Transformers, Thundercats, The Simpsons and possibly Pokemon. Nothing else. They will be cool and well mannered and they will not be spoilt with a million different genres of phone and console. they can wait until their birthday and xmas like I did and like it.

End of rant.

[trashcanman]

You could always become Amish. The new My Little Pony is apparently awesome and gaining brazen popularity among adult males. Google the word "bronies" for details. I haven't watched it, but I have to say that all the internet hype is making me extremely curious. Also, your children -should you choose to accept them- will give you hell regardless of your best laid plans. Nothing you can do about it but weather the storm.

[Quillford]

Shocking. Fuckin' Shocking.