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Post by The Curmudgeon on Mar 18, 2007 17:57:23 GMT 2
 Love these movies? Then God help you.Now, let me get one thing straight; The Curmudgeon is not some idiot who hates anything with "depth". I don't consider XXX to be the best movie of all time, and this trilogy didn't "go over my head". Yes, it looked nice. It looked very nice indeed. Yes, it was faithful to the books, but dear God in Heaven - how BORING was it all? It really annoys me, because I thought I would LOVE these movies. I'm into fantasy/adventure movies like anyone else, and when Fellowship came out I was all giggly and excited and loving life, then I sat through it and hated it with a passion. Boring, banal characters. Worthless "banter". Inane, lifeless and bloated, it is the single most tedious trilogy I've ever seen (well, except the Matrix, obviously). Nine hours of footage. Nine. Twelve if you include the "not got a girlfriend? Then get THIS" Super-Extended Ultra Editions, and what do people remember? What is the sole remaining factor that people like and quote? "My precious". Yes, Golum. A CGI character that wiped the floor with every other bland no-mark character on the screen. Think about it - would ANYONE care if 99% of the cast of the trilogy was killed? Of course they wouldn't. THAT's what wrong with Lord Of The Rings, as it toots and whistles through it's own self-importance, with its ludicrous, worthy dialogue and teeth-grindingly AWFUL attempts at humour, it forgot to add any soul or real heart. Thank God it's all over. |
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Post by Luke McCall on May 23, 2007 23:18:21 GMT 2
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I happen to agree with you. But some of the things you've said have been said all too often about my favorite film, Titanic.
Think about this... where there is depth in some of the imagery in Titanic, where the hell is there any depth in Lord of The Rings imagery?? We're talking about fluff, not Picasso for God's sakes.
These people are the worst at attacking people. It's crazy. They're elitists. They have no capacity to see past the ends of their noses or feel past the end of their fingers. That drives me crazy.
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Post by The Curmudgeon on May 23, 2007 23:19:29 GMT 2
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What's this...?!
Someone from Amazon replying to one of my reviews.. and they.. they.. AGREE with me?
(Faints).
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Post by Anna Marissa on Mar 27, 2008 9:23:12 GMT 2
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I enjoyed this trilogy... but I enjoy your review as well. Don't worry, here in the States, USA Today said that Elijah Wood&Sean Astin gave "B movie level grade acting." You are not alone.
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Post by trashcanman on Mar 27, 2008 10:12:08 GMT 2
{singing} The Curmudgeon's got a girlfriend! Curmudgeon's got a girlfriend! While I'm hear I'll fess up that I loved these flicks and indeed bought the "not got a girlfriend? Then get THIS Super-Extended Ultra Editions". Hey, I never said I wasn't a nerd. But having grown up reading the books and imagining this world for so long I have to say that seeing them done such justice (visually at least) was wonderful. That said, Frodo and Sam at the end was total "Brokeback Hobbit". And since I'm such an accepting guy, here's some Kevin Smith love for you LOTR haters out there: youtube.com/watch?v=b0sc-gS9AqM |
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Mar 28, 2008 20:13:47 GMT 2
I've never actually seen Clerks II, being of the opinion that Kevin Smith has only actually ever made one really good film. But that was pretty funny, if horribly acted. Oh, and true.
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Post by Caleb on Jul 4, 2008 16:26:48 GMT 2
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Well, I don't quite think it was one star... but I do agree with your general feeling of disappointment. LotR was among the first real books that I ever read. I kind of feel like Jackson ... did something bad to my childhood. Where's the wonder?
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Post by M Brooks on Jul 4, 2008 16:27:25 GMT 2
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How in the world can you claim that Golum is the best character, or that no one would care if 99% of the characters where killed off?
Bland characters? Did you see any of the movies besides the first part of the fellowship?
The real thing to thank God for is that few people will take your review seriously.
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Oct 28, 2008 20:21:26 GMT 2
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Well, Mel, you obviously did.
Yes I sure did see the other films. All 9 or so tedious hours of it. And did you happen to notice a pattern?
Fellowship:
"Oh no, we're doomed! Oh, wait - here comes Gandolf. We're saved."
Towers:
"On no, we're doomed! Oh, wait - here comes those stupid talking trees. We're saved. Again."
Return:
"Oh no, we're doomed! Oh, wait - here comes those ghost things. We're saved. Yawn."
And even though this was my very first review from waaay back, I still stand by every word. Lord of the Rings was a boring, bloated chore. Hell of a nice looker, of course, but with no real substance. And of course Golum was the only interesting character. Really, seriously - who else was there?
And I think you'll find there's a number of people who DO take my reviews seriously. Maybe when you get past your gargantuan number of reviews (that would be, ah, ONE) you can see fit to comment.
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Post by Amaranth on Oct 28, 2008 20:22:49 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
Great summary of the deus ex machina of the trilogy. Don't worry! You'll be saved by Gandalf (Bob Geldof of We are the World?),Trees or Ghosts! It's the fantasy genre. On drugs.
Why worry about the plot when Elijah is the eye candy (he spends Deep Impact staring blankly,does the same in Everything is Illuminated)? Ogling is half the fun!
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Jan 7, 2009 22:05:53 GMT 2
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Elijah Wood is eye-candy in this? OK, I change my opinion of this movie, then..
WORST FILM EVER.
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Post by CNice on Sept 19, 2009 18:55:57 GMT 2
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Thank you for this review! I thought I was the only one in the world who didn't like the movies. I don't find the movies interesting, I don't find the characters compelling, I don't find the situations suspenseful. The whole thing bores me to tears. I suspected that people watched the movies through the rose-colored glasses of childhood, where all things were possible and the flaws were forgivable.
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Post by Thomas Milnthorpe on Nov 28, 2009 14:42:06 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COMI'm a touch confused by this review. You say it was faithful, and so you obviously read it, but then seemed surprised by the flat characters and the slow pace (It takes over a 100 pages just to get the Hobbits out of Hobbiton!) . Surely you would have expected such things if you stuck with the books till the end? Everyone who has read the books knows the only character who is remotely interesting is Gollum. It sounds like you expected it to fly by and be an action-packed romp  Oh, and in a bid to win some brownie points and prove that I "ain't no dum-dum", The book and film of Wizard of Oz is amazing
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