A fairly morbid subject...

[The Curmudgeon]

OK, not wanting to depress anyone or anything but.. what do you think would be the WORST way to die?

I don't mean a slow, crippling death from some horrible disease (because, thinking about it, that probably WOULD be) but, you know, some horrible image that makes you shudder just thinking about it.

For my money, it would be a shark attack. I just can't imagine anything worse than being out in the middle of the sea and looking underneath you and seeing this enormous gray bulk charging towards you, and then you see those teeth.. and those eyes...

Bleurgh. Awful. I really can't imagine a worse way to go than that.

Anyone else?

[InvisibleWolfMan]

Hi,

The suggestion of WORST DEATH EVER that I'm going to make comes from the oddest of situations. You see, I had purchased THE COMPANY OF WOLVES a few years back and I was watching it for the first time in over a decade (yes...THAT long! ) during the night when I fell asleep. In my dream that I had I found myself being held in place, upright, while giant spining blades akin to "Freddy knives." They hit my face in the dream and SLOWLY began to shred. Needless to say it wasn't a silent wake-up I expereinced.

Another dream which fucking scared the shit out of me (and you can tell it still does) was not long after I'd seen THE TRUMAN SHOW. I dreamed I was on a boat and it was overturned. Somehow I was trapped underneath, even though I could see the surface just mere centimeters from my face. Worst part was, I could FEEL me sufficating under the water. So much so that I actually awoke from the dream but felt like I couldn't breathe NOR speak. This went on for a minute where I was just motionless and unable to breathe. Suddenly reflex kicked in and I woke up my wife with the most blood-curtling scream she'd EVER heard (or has ever heard since)! THAT, my friends, would also be another horrible way to die.

Best Regards,

InvisibleWolfMan

[Ben]

I'd always thought a rattlesnake bite would be the worst way to go. I know they can treat it and everything but say you're walking the desert alone one day (Hopefully no one is that foolish). Being the naive tourist that you probably are you flip over a rock and WAM! It sinks its fangs into your skin and injects the venom.

You can feel it pass through your body and within a few minutes you begin weakening. "Damn, I wish I charged my cell phone last night," you think. Within an hour or so you can feel the venom beginning to eat away at your muscle tissue. The limb you were bitten on swells up and turns black a little while later. You begin crawling the desert seeking help; the jackrabbits all run away.

Dilusional and losing strength, you collapse in a heap. Just your luck, though! Some shade! You crawl under the rock crevass not ten feet away, and also not thinking clearly. Rtrttttrttrtt! For the second (and third, and fourth, AHH!) time that day you're bitten by a rattlesnake...

Eventually you'll die, but not before crawling around in the dust experiencing the worst pain imaginable as the venom tears away at your heart and muscles.

Ok, ok, I may have exagerrated a LITTLE bit, but I still remember when I was in first grade and I saw a show on the Discovery Channel about some idiot that went through (basically) the same thing as I explained above. I had nightmares about snakes for weeks.

[trashcanman]

Well, I could get creative and spend 20+ minutes combining horribly agonizing thoughts into one gruesome, torturous death or make a joke about being forced to watch gay scat porn Clockwork Orange style until I choke on my own vomit, but I'll keep it simple. My fear of shark attack is well documented on this site and -aside from an unshakeable phobia of spiders- probably the only thing that truly terrifies me whenever I think about it. Curmudgeon went and stole my thunder, though. I seriously can't even swim in a pool without images of being eaten by a shark popping into my head. Anybody else seen "Open Water"? I damn near ran out of the theater during that one.

[The Curmudgeon]

I remember swimming out on one of those water lounger things, holding onto the side with my dad and my sister, and we smam out for fucking MILES. Seriously, I was about 11 and even then I realised how deeply STUPID it was. We were in Spain or something and I still remember being so scared at the thought of something touching my leg...

Ugh. Don't get me started. As for spiders, I have no immediate fear of them, but I would never go near one bigger than my fingernail. Hey, I've seen Arachnaphobia, thanks.

My biggest non-death fear? Wasps. Jesus Christ I'm terrified of them. I just don't understand their purpose - bees make honey and actually rip their own arse out when they sting you, so they would only do so as a last desperate resort. Wasps, on the other hand, can sting you as many times as they like, and are clearly just put on this earth to create untold misery, pain and fear. Satan in a stripey shirt.

[trashcanman]

Freakin' wasps man. I'm not afraid of them, but they sure are nature's little assholes. I used to do a lot of work in my father and father-in-law's walnut orchards. This included long stretches of pruning young trees; the kind of trees where wasps like to build nests. I was listening to my CD player, rockin' out while I pruned and then I felt something on my arm. A single, tiny little bastard of a wasp was working my forearm with that little jackhammer wasps call their ass. Ouch. So I slapped the pest and then heard a faint little something over the music in my headphones, so I looked up and the sky was gone. There was a huge fucking cloud of the things over my head; boy, had I pruned the wrong damn tree. So I ran through the field, cursing like crazy and swinging my arms about my head like.....um, I'll say a crazy man running through an orchard with wasps attacking him. Thankfully, I was fast enough to get away without too much pain, but I did have every other worker out there pointing at me and laughing for the rest of the day.

[The Curmudgeon]

That sounds like my worst nightmare come true. I turn into a hysterical shrieking woman whenever a wasp comes near. I've only been stung twice in my entire life - the first I don't remember because I was about seven, but it must have had some major effect on me because I've been legit terrified of them ever since. The second time wasn't scary, but certainly painful. I was picking up a newspaper and there was a wasp ON it. I felt this dull, throbbing pain in my hand and the wasp sting had been torn off and was in my hand. My hand developed a huge black bruise and hurt for about four days.

Ohhh.. I can only imagine the HORROR of being chased by a swarm of bees. Jesus Trashy, you LIVED through that? Can I have your autograph?

[trashcanman]

Shoot, Curmudgeon, I used to hunt the bastards for sport when I was little. You must think I'm a superhero. During summer vacation, my friend and I would wear long-sleeved clothes and hoods and grab our tennis rackets to go rid our 'hood of paper wasps. We'd knock their nest down and run into the garage where my sister was ready with the automatic garage door opener to close it (we actually rolled under the thing Indiana Jones-style) as we fled the angry yellow-and-black mob. Then we'd go back after the swarm dispersed and pick them off one at a time until there were no more. The fun part was that the tennis rackets would shred each wasp into 3 pieces if you hit it just right. My buddy had a nice collection of paper nests as trophies in his room for years. Such is life in a farmtown when you are too young to drive yet still have to scratch that urge to kill. That kind of crap would make a great youtube video sketch today. I can picture it now; the theme from "Buffy" would be playing and everything.

[The Curmudgeon]

And, of course, the standard Youtube comments.

DUDE WTF???! LOLZ.

ThIs sux U FAg

LOL LOL LOL