Post by trashcanman on Feb 24, 2014 5:37:11 GMT 2
A year or so ago, I posted that I was done with Cracked because I was fed up with the decrease in humor and interesting facts and the increase in childish internet politics. Recently, I was looking for some time killing activities on my phone that won't take up any memory so I started reading their articles again for a week or so after reading Seanbaby's stuff and remembering how awesome the site used to be. Maybe it was just a phase. There were a few good new articles, but it didn't take long before they got stupid again.
www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrifying-uses-sexual-symbolism-in-horror-films/
Jesus fuck. The Aliens rape thing is common knowledge, but that Predator shit is just too stupid to be readable. You'd think before reading so much into a fucking 80's action film they'd at least research it by oh, I don't know, watching the special features on the DVD or something. For example, the shots they did with the ORIGINAL Predator costume. Which looked like this:
Note the distinct lack of anything remotely vagina-esque. The entire film was conceived around that alien and then switched to the classic Stan Winston design at the last minute because the existing suit was...well, dumb-looking garbage that ruined the entire film. So no, you stupid pretentious fucktard, Predator is not about how men are afraid that women are going to hunt, kill, and skin them for sport. It really is just about an alien hunter and a bunch of manly bastards in a jungle.
And in my experience, vaginas don't really look like that and men actually LIKE them. They aren't afraid of them at all. They will thhrow themselves face-first into them given any opportunity to do so. There are magazines and websites that actually use pictures of vaginas as a selling point because men enjoy looking at them. Is there any doubt that the writer of that article is a gay man?
www.cracked.com/blog/4-organizations-everyone-hates-for-stupid-reasons/
So we shouldn't hate FOX News because we don't have to watch it? Like how we didn't want to bother the Nazis since they weren't committing genocide in our countries? Fuuuuuuuuuck. I'm not saying we should flail and pitch fits and call for censorship, but a channel making their sole purpose the dissemination of redneck propaganda is not a stupid reason to hate them.
And the Wal-Mart thing? What a clusterfuck. He spends most of the time giving us perfectly legitimate reasons to hate them, including leveling all of the competition to make themselves the only game in town in some places, and then suggests that we shouldn't hate them because in some places they are the only game in town.
Then they go so far as to point out that Wal-Mart changed the name of the song Rape Me to Waif Me (
?) and Cobain was fine with it. So clearly that was not a petty and fucking retarded thing to do. And I'm sure that the millions and millions made from having In Utero on Wal-Mart shelves had more to do with the decision than any notion that it would be punishing kids by making it harder to get. That is the lamest thing I ever heard. Maybe it's better he killed himself when he did if he was having to rationalize the corporateness of his band to such a ridiculous extent.
So anyways, my Cracked embargo is going to have to be reinstated. That is bad writing, bad politics, and I don't know that there was a single legit joke in there. On a humor site. What the hell, man?
www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrifying-uses-sexual-symbolism-in-horror-films/
Jesus fuck. The Aliens rape thing is common knowledge, but that Predator shit is just too stupid to be readable. You'd think before reading so much into a fucking 80's action film they'd at least research it by oh, I don't know, watching the special features on the DVD or something. For example, the shots they did with the ORIGINAL Predator costume. Which looked like this:
Note the distinct lack of anything remotely vagina-esque. The entire film was conceived around that alien and then switched to the classic Stan Winston design at the last minute because the existing suit was...well, dumb-looking garbage that ruined the entire film. So no, you stupid pretentious fucktard, Predator is not about how men are afraid that women are going to hunt, kill, and skin them for sport. It really is just about an alien hunter and a bunch of manly bastards in a jungle.
And in my experience, vaginas don't really look like that and men actually LIKE them. They aren't afraid of them at all. They will thhrow themselves face-first into them given any opportunity to do so. There are magazines and websites that actually use pictures of vaginas as a selling point because men enjoy looking at them. Is there any doubt that the writer of that article is a gay man?
www.cracked.com/blog/4-organizations-everyone-hates-for-stupid-reasons/
So we shouldn't hate FOX News because we don't have to watch it? Like how we didn't want to bother the Nazis since they weren't committing genocide in our countries? Fuuuuuuuuuck. I'm not saying we should flail and pitch fits and call for censorship, but a channel making their sole purpose the dissemination of redneck propaganda is not a stupid reason to hate them.
And the Wal-Mart thing? What a clusterfuck. He spends most of the time giving us perfectly legitimate reasons to hate them, including leveling all of the competition to make themselves the only game in town in some places, and then suggests that we shouldn't hate them because in some places they are the only game in town.
Then they go so far as to point out that Wal-Mart changed the name of the song Rape Me to Waif Me (
?) and Cobain was fine with it. So clearly that was not a petty and fucking retarded thing to do. And I'm sure that the millions and millions made from having In Utero on Wal-Mart shelves had more to do with the decision than any notion that it would be punishing kids by making it harder to get. That is the lamest thing I ever heard. Maybe it's better he killed himself when he did if he was having to rationalize the corporateness of his band to such a ridiculous extent.So anyways, my Cracked embargo is going to have to be reinstated. That is bad writing, bad politics, and I don't know that there was a single legit joke in there. On a humor site. What the hell, man?
