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Post by The Curmudgeon on Apr 11, 2007 11:37:13 GMT 2
 I'd best don my flame-proof coat now..Oh God, I just KNOW I'm going to get no end of abuse for this review. But hey, I gotta tell it like I see it - and I've seen Crouching Tiger and I gotta tell you - it sucks donkeys. The Curmudgeon doesn't get sucked in by hype often, but I really was with this film. I read everywhere that it was basically the resurrection on film. So I bought it without ever seeing it. Last time I do that, then. Now, OK - the fight sequences. This is all people EVER talk about in this film, so I guess I should give first mention to it. They are VERY impressive, without a hint of CGI rubbish or blue screen. They look fantastic - and it's a crying, pitiful shame they weren't in a movie of more worth. Because let's face it - take away the jaw-dropping fighting scenes and what do you have? A dull, plodding tale of "honour" that's about as interesting as counting peas in a bag. And while we're on the subject, there was never any explanation as to WHY these fights were so spectacular. Ordinary village girl meets masked assassin guy, and suddenly they're running up trees and floating in the air. Did I miss something? And how to say this without sounding racist? Hmmm.. tough call but I'll try - the director really SHOULD have tried to make the characters more distinctive. Watching "bald guy in pyjamas fighting other bald guy in pyjamas" can be a bit confusing. Not saying they all look the same or anything but hells bells - give one of them a hat or something. Like I said, I know I'm going to catch it for this review, but it really is a perfect example of style over substance. Nice effects, but no story, character of anything else of merit make this one to see using scene select only. Sigh - the e-mail address is at the bottom.. |
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Post by trashcanman on Apr 27, 2007 23:19:00 GMT 2
Normally, I'd have to flame the hell out of a review like this one, "Crouching Tiger" being one of my all-time favorite films and all, but I'll be nice because you gotta love The Curmudgeon. That, and the comment about the hat was damned hilarious. I believe that a big reason that Asian films aren't more popular (besides westerners' ingrained aversion to subtitles) is that, to we white folk, Asians do look alike. This can make an otherwise brillaint story seem somewhat confusing at times. Honestly, the story in CTHD is as good for me as the unrivaled fight scenes. The themes of freedom, honesty, and the choices we make in life really strike a philosophical chord and we get not one, but two tragic love stories to top it all off. I'm glad that Asian cinema has finally achieved these kind of highs and garnered some respect, even if it is mostly from blowhard film critics and geeks. The review.....well, I get the impression that you did use "scene select only" on the film because if the film's title wasn't at the top of the review I would have had no idea what movie was being talked about. I could go the extra geeky mile and post an explanation of all the characters and the meaning behind all of the fights, etc., etc., but why? Just believe that the story does make sense on several levels and the characters are there...they all just kinda look alike.
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Apr 27, 2007 23:19:28 GMT 2
OK - hands up confession time - I DID watch this movie the whole way through BUT.. it was a hell of a long time ago. So, yeah, the whole "review", such as it is, is pretty spotty. I just remember thinking it was completely over hyped and, fight scenes aside, really rather dull and uninvolving.
You know what's ironic? I trash pieces of shit like Coyote Ugly and I get e-mail after e-mail from people telling me what a dick I am. But when I slate a movie that is, to many, a bonafide classic - I get ZERO response. Go figure.
I do stand by my opinion, though. I think that if the movie just had bog-standard fight scenes then it would have sunk without trace, but because of the excellent effects its now loved by millions (who don't seem to love it for the same reasons you do, Trashy - I think you're the first person that's actually talked about the STORY).
If I'm honest, I'm not a huge fan of Asian cinema. I mean, I'll watch anything, but the likes of CTHD and House Of Flying Daggers (you know the sort of thing - the sort of movie where the voice over guy quotes reviews like "breathtaking" and "visually astounding") is never going to be high up on my wish list. A guy in a monster suit smashing model buildings, though? Cha-chiiiing.
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Post by trashcanman on Apr 27, 2007 23:20:06 GMT 2
"Coyote Ugly"?!?! People have flamed other human beings for making fun of that POS? I like hot, slippery wet girls dancing on bars as much as the next guy, but as an "inspirational" story about a hack songwriter and her concept for a bar that, of course, would certainly assure only the highest class of clientele (frat boys, dirty old men, and the skanks that love them), it's just a bad idea for a full-length film. Everyone I know likes that movie, and that's okay because everybody has some shitty guilty pleasure films that they enjoyed in spite of their stupidity, just don't argue that those movies are GOOD. Seen "Night at the Museum" yet? The way people are talking about that movie, you'd think it was the funniest thing ever filmed. I haven't seen it and I don't plan to, but when the pickens at the theater are as slim as they've been this season, people will gush over anything. But I can't get "Pan's Labrynth" or "Curse of the Golden Flower" (another of those "visually astounding" asian films) into a theater within an hour of my city. Ain't that about a bitch?
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Post by trashcanman on May 2, 2007 21:37:51 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
Sorry, man, but I've got to strongly disagree with you on this one. This is one of my favorite films of all time; timeless, beautiful, and exhilarating. Michelle Yeoh's character, who I presume is the "ordinary village girl" in question is a travelling martial artist and the "masked assassin" (you're referring to Zhang Ziyi, I think) is a ninja disciple, hence the awesome fight sequence. Or maybe Chow Yung Fat (martial-artist trying to recover his priceless stolen sword) is the "assassin" -though I don't recall a mask- and Zhang (still a ninja-in-training who stole the sword) is the village girl. Honestly, the review is kind of vague. While I'll freely admit to the inherent cliche'-ness of the story of the beautiful princess who longs to stray outside of the palace walls and experience true adventure; I always say that there are no tired concepts, just tired executions of those concepts. This film, in my opinion, was executed without flaw. The story is about honor, love, pride, and many other things; but most of all it's about freedom. Maybe you oughtta give this one another try and pay attention, this time. If you're not a fan of martial arts or asian cinema in general, this film may not float your boat, but for me, this is the kind of film I will never get tired of.
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Post by Doomferret on Mar 13, 2010 17:20:57 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
"And how to say this without sounding racist? Hmmm.. tough call but I'll try - the director really SHOULD have tried to make the characters more distinctive. Watching "bald guy in pyjamas fighting other bald guy in pyjamas" can be a bit confusing. Not saying they all look the same or anything but hells bells - give one of them a hat or something."
If not sounding racist was your goal, you failed.
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Post by trashcanman on Mar 13, 2010 21:09:19 GMT 2
For the record, C, you can make anything sound racist by prefacing it with a variation "I'm not...", "I've got nothing against...", or "some of my best freinds are..." The correct way to approach that issue without getting overly technical would be something along the lines of "we white people are often too dumb to tell Asians apart at a glimpse." What are they going to do, accuse you of hating white people?
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Mar 15, 2010 22:23:37 GMT 2
And of course I WAS attempting to sound racist with that line. A sort of, "this is racist, so I'll just try and sound as ignorant as possible" vibe, hence the "give one of them a hat" line.
And I really did think that review would get Susan Boyle style numbers, but no. Fair enough it was one of my first reviews and as a result is pretty scrappy, but it seems people with actual intelligence have better things to do than write "OMG" style replies. Shame.
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Post by trashcanman on Mar 16, 2010 8:27:01 GMT 2
CTHD is not a fan most dumb people will see or appreciate. It has Chinese people in it as you'll recall. That disqualifies at least 80% of the OMG crowd and the rest pretend to like it, but don't have any legitimate passion for it since all they get out of it is people flying around kung-fu fighting.
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Post by Daniel Wild on Jan 10, 2011 15:22:27 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
There's nothing wrong with a critical reviewer. Sure beats reading the boring gushy "oh everything is so rosy" five star reviews out there. There is a place in the world for critics, and The Curmudgeon's reviews are intelligent, and funny.
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