They say never meet your heroes.

[The Curmudgeon]

Thanks to the wonders of the internet, our sports heroes and singing superstars are closer than ever before. But sometimes, in the case of former WWF wrestler Marty Jannetty (of the Rockers, with Shawn Michaels), sometimes it's a little too close.

If the name does nothing for you, it's this guy;



He was a tag team wrestler for a while in the 90's, and every time he was given something to do he seemed to fuck it up for himself (during his high profile split with Shawn Michaels, the two were supposed to feud but Marty was put under 6 month house arrest.. that's just one example).

Anyway, he was mentioned a few weeks on TV by Stephanie McMahon, daughter of boss Vince and wife of future owner Triple H. He went on Facebook that night making a few heated remarks about Stephanie, saying he knows "some of her kids aren't HHH's." Oh snaaaaap. The next day he claimed his Facebook page was hacked.

Anyway, his Facebook page is like a walking parody of a mid-life crisis. These are some of his Facebook posts. Oscar Wilde he ain't.

"Imma bout to make a broke bitch rich...she bett stop playin with me"
"she was riding on the hood while I was accidently banging that ass...now theres a dent on my hood.."
"I just hit her then quit her...one yall ninjas please take this bitch home..I'll give ya a 5"

So this following conversation took place today between Marty and the Curmudgeon.

Marty: I told the bitch though...start at the bottom of my sack, and lick yo way back..and she actually did it...now I don't know what I want her to do other than get that ball breath out my face...lol..hurrrrd me??
Me: To think, people are actually seriously suggesting you go in the Hall of Fame.
Marty: yeah and whats worse is people like you take that shit serious...in all real, it means as much as you do..
Me: Remember when you wrote that shit about Stephanie last week and then pretended your phone was hacked? You absolute fool.
Marty: and yet youre still here...
Me: So are you still saying your phone was hacked?
Marty: ninja, come on man...wake up and die right
Me: I notice I'm not getting an answer. So you're a liar, basically. OK then.
Marty: dude...you got one more chance to be my friend..after that youre going back to the toilet you crawled out of..
Me: And still no answer. Interesting.
Marty: ninja...school opens at 8am...please try to attend..
Me: So what was that about Stephanie McMahon again? That HHH isn't the father? Was that what you said? What did you mean by that?
Marty: omg. how od are you?
Me: Really? The 60 year old with the mid-life crisis and talking like he's 14 is asking that question?
You really want to go there, "ninja"?
Marty: ninja...I got way bigger fish to fry than you..take mommy"s titty out you mouth so you can put my dick in it..
Me: There we go. You're back on the level you're comfortable with. At what part of the day do you look in the mirror and realise what an embarrassment you are?
Marty: well.. youre looking at me...so f I'm a failure , what does a follower of mine mean??? eat that and walk backwards..dumb ass f***...we here laughin, then a buzz kill like you shows up...good bye lil bitch..

Cue a whole bunch of other people insulting me.

Me: I love the fact that through all of this, Marty has still to admit whether he lied or not. I'm waiting.
That's all I want to know, and then I'll go. Did you say something, probably (no doubt) while high and then try and backtrack on it the next day? That's all I want to know.
Marty: dick face...just kneel down and thank God...that you just a keyboard warrior..but I can fin yo ninja as..and people you don't wanna seeand no Idgaf if this is public
Me: Oh no, what are you going to do? Breathe on me and give me alcohol poisoning?
Anyway, this is going nowhere. I just wanted to prove you're a two-faced coward who tries to lie his way out of his own insults. Thank you for proving my point. I'll let you get back to your cocaine.
Marty: Goodbye ninja.

(Blocked from his Facebook page).

Sigh. Reaching out through social media yet again.

[trashcanman]

Really? The 60 year old with the mid-life crisis and talking like he's 14 is asking that question?
You really want to go there, "ninja"?

Man, I used to love that guy, but that was one of the most pathetic things I've ever witnessed. An old ass man on the internet talking like a juggalo? Just......fuck this planet. And suggesting that you need to go to school with that grammatical nightmare of white boy ebonics and typos is just depressing. You should have responded to his threat with the Navy Seal copypasta that is traditionally used to mock that kind of shit.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

[Ben]

I can't believe people like this exist. Is "ninja" the "appropriate" way to say "nigga" on the internet?

[trashcanman]

If you're a white guy who wants to sound street but is too pussy to actually say it, yes. I'm pretty sure it was popularized by ICP, which makes it even lamer.

[Ben]

God, I hope someone shoots me if I'm ever caught saying "ninja" in that context. And fuck ICP!