Post by The Curmudgeon on May 3, 2007 8:49:48 GMT 2
Disembowel this creature.
Ugh. There sometimes isn't enough bile and hatred in the world that can do some things justice. This is just everything The Curmudgeon hates about today's music scene rapped into one pre-pubescent, hateful little snotrag.
We're talking reality television stars, we're talking fake rock music, we're talking little kids trying to be cool - we're talking one more exploitive, "rock music is cool this year" piece of garbage aimed at stupid little girls with too much money to burn. Ladies and gentlemen, we're talking (gnnnnnnnnnnn) - Lil' Chris.
Few fun facts about Lil' Chris - he's from that washout reality show "Rock School" where a group of classically trained English schoolkids, with no interest in rock music, were taught how to play it by "show me the money" Gene Simmons. Remember - this is a guy who put his painted face on every possible sellable commodity - there's NOTHING this guy wouldn't do for money.
With me so far? So, why would a BRITISH kid call himself "Lil", when absolutely NO Brit uses that term - ever? And why would a kid, regardless of where they're from, release a "rock" song when he had absolutely no interest in it before the TV show?
Exactly - cha-ching. The makers of the show obviously saw they could pull another reality show dummy from the closet, dress in it in whatever clothes they wanted, and throw it out for the gullible, buy anything fools to salivate over. Same. Old. Story.
The first single was a guideline for what to expect with this feeble effort; we had the obligatory rock band in the background of the video, as Lil Chris jumps around the obligatory sweaty underground club (that he wouldn't even be allowed into) where the obligatory wannabe rock kids jump around like They're Having Fun.
So what does this MEAN exactly? Well, it means that 10 year old girls who bought this trash will think they now "like rock music" and the record companies will now look for someone else to wear ripped jeans, have spiky hair and an "attitude" in this generations replacement of the out of date boyband - the fake rock star.
The songs, of course, are terrible, and Lil Chris can quite obviously not sing a note in this style. Well, why should he? He wasn't taught that way, and all the posturing and "rawking out" in the world can't save it, and every track is just more of the same "OK, Chris. Sing this song in this way, because that's what ROCK music sounds like" instructions from some soul-less, corporate monster, while the little turd mugs to the camera and plays air guitar, fooling himself that anyone older than 10 years old will buy into it.
Attention, child murderers of the world - THIS is your new target.
See Lil Chris: Figure It Out
www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6hYqtsogz4
