Asshole vs Asshole

[The Curmudgeon]

When you spend really way more hours than you should watching the cartoonish exploits of WWE, it can numb you to certain things. Guys yelling at the camera and a crowd? Seen it a million times. Douchebags with their chests puffed out insulting the guy they want to beat up? Seen that a million times too.

But sometimes you need to take a step back and re-evaluate what you're watching, because even though it's as outrageous as anything you'll see on Monday Night Raw, even though the hype and macho antics are like something fresh out of Wrestlemania. Except it's not. It's actually two insufferable assholes who actually want to punch each other unconscious. It's Conor McGregor vs Floyd Mayweather.

I don't follow boxing or UFC, but it's safe to say this has been largely unavoidable over the last week, with both Conor and Floyd doing their best to whip the press and the paying public into a frenzy over their upcoming fight. Have you seen this shit? Here's some edited highlights of what is essentially a sponsored dick swinging competition.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWtaorIs1to

So, not taking in Conor's racism accusations ("dance for me boy") or the fact he's not racist "because he's black from the belly button down" (HUR HUR, that means he's got a big dick LOLZ), has there ever been a contest between two more completely unlikable people?

A few years ago Floyd took part in a "match" at Wrestlemania. He was heavily hyped before showing up on Raw a few months before Mania, and the crowd turned on him about three minutes after his arrival, so much so they had to wing it, so instead of Floyd being the good guy and the Big Show the villain, it was turned into the opposite. When you're such a real life douchebag that they have to change a script, you must know you're an absolute tool.

So this fight, then. Like I said, I don't follow either sport but hey, I've been sold on the hype. Not sure I'm going to pay for it (it's supposed to be stupidly expensive) but who do you think will win?

[trashcanman]

This is a joke. All of it.I'm a massive MMA guy, but this is a boxing match and all of the greatest boxers of this generation tried and failed to hurt Mayweather. People who dedicated their entire lives to nothing but boxing. Come on. Conor is a talented motherfucker and blitzed his name across three divisions in the UFC in very short order, which is arguably as impressive a feat as has ever been accomplished in MMA, but I don't believe any amount of talent is going to get him past Mayweather and I think he knows that. MMA striking is not the same as boxing. Not even close. He's always been about the money and he's always been very vocal about that and any way you look at it, this is the most money he can make. Conor McGregor holds two UFC belts -one for well over a year and a half- and never defended either even once. He doesn't care about being a great champion. He only wants to make the most noise and the most money. He ain't winning this shit. And if he does, it will be the single most incredible thing to ever happen in sports.

I think I can let the "boy" thing go since it seems like normal Irish slang (correct me if I'm wrong) whereas in America a white man calling a black man that has very old time historical racist connotations, but the "from the belly button down" thing was just moronic. But yeah, Mayweather is a shithead with a major history of racebaiting including rants about how MMA was invented because white people can't win at boxing (whereas I'd argue that MMA is a more complete fight and boxing was invented as a game for people who need a bunch of arbitrary rules to even participate in a fight) so he gets no sympathy from me if Connie's shit talk isn't kind and gentle or PC enough for him. It's not a race thing at all for me, but just for the sheer unprecedented historic spectacle of it I'd love to see Floyd get knocked the fuck out and for the world to be shocked. I wouldn't bet a fookin' penny on it, though.

Man, McGregor's rant at that press conference is epic. The guy's a total dick, but he is one hell of an entertainer, both inside and outside the cage/ring. That was like a full-on Comedy Central roast of Mayweather and his whole crew KRS ONE style. I do love that Mayweather just ignored him the whole time, but then he seemed to have nothing to say when his turn came up. He just danced and repeated hip hop cliches for like five minutes while McGregor laughed at him before he even started in. Some good stuff once he did, though, until he got to that "home cooked meal" nonsense. I wanted McGregor to call up 50 Cent for the Dr. Seuss Challenge again at that point because his material went downhill fast after that. Never thought this would happen, it's still a joke now that it is, and I won't be paying $100 for this farce, but it's still a fun show to watch.

[The Curmudgeon]

I'm pretty much on the same boat as you. McGregor sold me on the fight, but I'm not sure who I want to see beat the snot out of each other the most because they're both such absolute DIIIIIICKS. No way in Hell would I pay the asking price for it, but I'm still interested.

So, wait, he has a belt for over a year and doesn't defend it? Is that even allowed?

[trashcanman]

Not usually. McGregor had gotten a ton of special treatment because he's such a draw.

[Ben]

I thought they took one of McGregor's belts away because he hasn't been defending them. Maybe I heard that wrong. Regardless, I'm cheering for Connor. They're both dicks, but Connor at least has the occasional endearing moment post-fight where he lets the facade down. The publicity tour has been pretty sickening, but it's just that--a publicity tour. That's at least half of what fighting for sport is anyway. All those guys are in on it. Showmanship is all part of the game.

[trashcanman]

They didn't take his belt away, but they made an interim belt for other fighters to compete for in the meantime. When/if McGregor comes back, he'll fight the interim title holder in a unification bout. I think. I haven't really been following MMA much recently.