A lesson in British culture..

[The Curmudgeon]

OK, here's a quick dialect test for you American Dwellers (who outnumber us Brits by a fair margin), or, to put it another way, a chance to see just how much you can understand from this music video.

Explanations first - it's a comedy music video; a charicature of a Scottish stereotype that is, actually, 100% accurate. Forget the hoots mon Groundskeeper Willie characters - you want an example of a GENUINE Scottish figure - this is it.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=scNLfr1EP08

It's hard to describe what type of character this IS as such. Let's see - he's no job, no prospects, gets arrested, gets drunk or high and starts fights for no reason. Utter scum, basically. I'm sure you have your own version. This is one of ours - we have many, many variants.

Anyway - how much can you make out? Zero or less than zero?

[trashcanman]

I think I heard a "I'm gonna fuck your maaaa!" and a Johnny Cash namedrop in there. Anybody else seen "Snatch"?

[hackersanonymous]

Mercifully, this guy is a stand-up comic called Neil Bratchpiece. Unfortunately, the character he's playing is jaw-droppingly accurate.

For those interested/bewildered, here's a transcription of the song in the video:

Here You (That'll Be Right)

Here mate (whit?)
You lookin at ma burd? (naw)
How no? Trying tae say she's ugly or summin?


Ah wis like that pure mad hingin out the back of your granny like that yass!

Ah wis like that pure mad hingin out the back of your granny like that yass!

Ah wis like that pure mad hingin out the back of your granny like that yass!

Am gony pump your maw



Here you, that will be right
I heard you tried to knock my stash last night
Here you, what's the fuckin script
You're a wee baw bag, your jaws getting ripped

Here you ya stupit we dafty
Don't want to gee ye malky but I think am gona huvty,
Gonna jump aw oor yer heid,
That'll teach you fur stealin ma weed



Here you, that'll be right
Here you, bolt ya nugget
Here you, that'll be right
Here you, bolt ya nugget
Here you, that will be right
Here you, bolt ya nugget

Am gony rip your jaw



Am goin doon the toon tae see if I get lucky
If I canny get a burd ah'll drink sum mair Buckie
Wash it doon wae a couple of pills
I know they eckies will cure ma ills
Get a Courtney Pine of Lou Reed
When ah wake in the morning ah'll probly be deid
Don't worry he's got Johnny Cash
Roll a Jimmy Cliff of Moroccan Hash
If that dusny work we'll get some crack
Freebase some coke and then some smack
PCP, psilocybin's the potion for me!

Here you, that'll be right
Here you, bolt ya nugget
Here you, that'll be right
Here you, bolt ya nugget
Here you, that will be right
Here you, bolt ya nugget

Am gony rip your jaw (aye right)

Don't geez any yer,
Don't geez any yer,
Don't geez any yer shite!

(Ah pumped yer maw last night)


Don't geez any yer,
Don't geez any yer,
Don't geez any yer shite!
(Ah smoked yer draw last night)

Here mate, mate, yer a dick mate, yer a dick!
Here you, that'll be right
Here you, bolt ya nugget (Turn up the bouncy tunes)
Here you, that'll be right
Here you, bolt ya nugget (yasss)
Here you, that will be right
Here you, bolt ya nugget

Whit ye dain ya mad fanny?


I'm sure the lyrics have cleared it up no end. Ahem.

Toodles!

[The Curmudgeon]

trashcanman said:

I think I heard a "I'm gonna fuck your maaaa!" and a Johnny Cash namedrop in there. Anybody else seen "Snatch"?

You're right on the first part, but the Johnny Cash reference is a rhyming slang for "hash".

I haven't seen Snatch, but from I've heard Brad Pitt's character is pretty much unintelligable. I just saw the words "Guy" and "Ritchie" and thought better of it.

[trashcanman]

Tell me you found those lyrics online somewhere and didn't actually understand that madness, Hackers. Anyone who understood that must be some sort of man-god. "Snatch" is a strange little movie, and Pitt is pretty funny in it. youtube.com/watch?v=xKm7cu_huZc fast forward to about 1:30 for some of the good stuff.

[The Curmudgeon]

True story? I can understand 99% of it, the only part being the first three (repeated) lines.