Post by The Curmudgeon on Oct 7, 2007 10:34:15 GMT 2
Now then, The Worst Time Of The Year is almost upon us (like, tomorrow the way all the shops are looking right now.. do we REALLY need to hear "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday" in fucking OCTOBER? and so you may well be hunting for that special toy for your son/niece/daughter/whatever. Well, here's a quick hint from The Curmudgeon about what NOT to buy (Bratz is a given - only if you want your darling daughter to give birth to her own darling daughter at 13).
I'm talking the kind of toys that are of the desperate, "just stick the characters name on and watch the money roll in" variety that are becoming alarmingly frequent nowadays. Things that make NO sense to you and I, but have the characters name on the box meaning some poor unsuspecting parent will buy it.
Beware of dogs like THIS..
Boba Fett Slave 1 Transformer
(Wow, looks just like him, huh?)
Anyway, who needs ONE famous brand name when you can have two? In this case, Star Wars and everyone's favourite "pretend he's not Australian" bounty hunter, Boba Fett and Transformers. Er - together at last. And boy, are they REALLY together. Check this mind-warping premise out..
A bounty hunter never stops for rest, especially while hunting his prize catch. Boba Fett, the galaxy's most notorious bounty hunter, has been tracking Han Solo for months. Using modified armour and new shape-shifting technology, Fett morphs into Slave I mode and flies to Coruscant, where Solo was last spotted.
Converts from Slave I vehicle into bounty hunter figure, featuring a missile-launching jet pack! Includes Boba Fett pilot figure, backpack and 2 blaster pistols.
So, wait - Boba Fett TRANSFORMS into his ship now? And, um, it also comes with a Boba Fett pilot figure for the ship. So, Boba Fett IS the pilot.. AND the ship...?
Then there's the "Spider-Man and Friends" range, a set of toys aimed at babies to introduce them to the Marvel Universe. A great idea, but one that's going to just end up messing with the little 'uns minds. For if they think that, say, The Lizard, looks like this..
how much of a shock will it be when they're plopped down in front of the TV to watch the Spider-Man cartoon and see he ACTUALLY looks like the snarling, slobbering super-villain that we all know and love? In fact, check out this picture of the Spider-Man and Friends" range..
Is it me, or is the Hulk quite happily taking a dump in that picture?
Why would kids - any kids - want to play with sappy, doe-eyed loser versions of toys anyway? I know I certainly didn't. And don't even get me started on this Grade-A Nightmare Fuel.
Good... God.
People, there are MILLIONS of dodgy toys out there, made by devious companies eager to rob YOU of your cash, peddling often baffling, ultra crap toys onto unsuspecting adults.
Think before you buy.
I'm talking the kind of toys that are of the desperate, "just stick the characters name on and watch the money roll in" variety that are becoming alarmingly frequent nowadays. Things that make NO sense to you and I, but have the characters name on the box meaning some poor unsuspecting parent will buy it.
Beware of dogs like THIS..
Boba Fett Slave 1 Transformer
(Wow, looks just like him, huh?)
Anyway, who needs ONE famous brand name when you can have two? In this case, Star Wars and everyone's favourite "pretend he's not Australian" bounty hunter, Boba Fett and Transformers. Er - together at last. And boy, are they REALLY together. Check this mind-warping premise out..
A bounty hunter never stops for rest, especially while hunting his prize catch. Boba Fett, the galaxy's most notorious bounty hunter, has been tracking Han Solo for months. Using modified armour and new shape-shifting technology, Fett morphs into Slave I mode and flies to Coruscant, where Solo was last spotted.
Converts from Slave I vehicle into bounty hunter figure, featuring a missile-launching jet pack! Includes Boba Fett pilot figure, backpack and 2 blaster pistols.
So, wait - Boba Fett TRANSFORMS into his ship now? And, um, it also comes with a Boba Fett pilot figure for the ship. So, Boba Fett IS the pilot.. AND the ship...?
Then there's the "Spider-Man and Friends" range, a set of toys aimed at babies to introduce them to the Marvel Universe. A great idea, but one that's going to just end up messing with the little 'uns minds. For if they think that, say, The Lizard, looks like this..
how much of a shock will it be when they're plopped down in front of the TV to watch the Spider-Man cartoon and see he ACTUALLY looks like the snarling, slobbering super-villain that we all know and love? In fact, check out this picture of the Spider-Man and Friends" range..
Is it me, or is the Hulk quite happily taking a dump in that picture?
Why would kids - any kids - want to play with sappy, doe-eyed loser versions of toys anyway? I know I certainly didn't. And don't even get me started on this Grade-A Nightmare Fuel.
Good... God.
People, there are MILLIONS of dodgy toys out there, made by devious companies eager to rob YOU of your cash, peddling often baffling, ultra crap toys onto unsuspecting adults.
Think before you buy.
