I don't like football. I am a social leper.

[The Curmudgeon]

Oh good. It's THAT time again.

Before I start, I'll clear this up for the American Dwellers among us - I'm talking about British football, as in soccer. Although I suppose it's the same thing for what I'm about to bring up.

I don't like football. I don't hate it, I don't hate people who watch it - I just find it dull. I've watched a few matches in my time (The Wife likes it, for example) but I just can't get into it. 90 minutes of watching guys running around a field? No thanks. I can watch, and like to watch, some sports - boxing is all good, snooker is fine - hell, even darts is pretty good sometimes. (I won't mention wrestling, 'cos I know it's not a real sport per se.. still the best damn show on television, though).

So what's the big deal? Simple - being male, it seems to be a pre-requisite that I watch and adore football, and when I reveal that I don't it's as if I'm from another (possibly homosexual) planet. Here's an example from when I was getting my hair cut a few weeks back..

Barber: Watching the game tonight?
Me: Eh? Oh, no. I don't follow football.
Barber: Oh....... right.

END CONVERSATION.

And then..

Taxi Driver: Some result last night, eh?
Me: Oh, really?
Taxi Driver: Didn't you see it?
Me: No, I (sensing the inevitable) don't follow football.
Taxi Driver: Oh.. right.

END CONVERSATION.

And so it goes. The amount of times I've been asked What Team I Support, only for me to give the same tired response and then GET the same tired response is unbelievable. When I'm with a group of people and football comes up, I have to wait for the entire subject changes before I can even open my mouth.

And, of course, it's World Cup time, so EVERYONE is talking about fucking football. Magazines are talking about it, newspapers are talking about it, internet sites I usually frequent are talking about it, the TV schedules will soon be DOMINATED by it. It really is very depressing.

I've always said that anyone can talk about anything here, and so if anyone out there wishes to talk about how well Team A played against Team B then be my guest. Otherwise you can be guaranteed that football, soccer or whatever will never penetrate the walls of The Fortress Of Solitude.

[Ben]

I myself am not much of a fan until World Cup rolls around, but then again, our U.S. teams all suck. I do, however, enjoy playing soccer (I'm currently in my tenth season in a "competitive" league).

This discussion of "football" leads me to another question: do you Europeans pay any attention to NFL Europe or is that as much of a joke over there as it is over here? Being a die-hard american football fan, I watch NFL Europe just to see who could be "an up and coming star" a few years from now, but I also notice the stadiums are fairly full. So that leads me to believe american football is at least somewhat popular over there (?).

[The Curmudgeon]

Na, American Football is non-existent over here. There is probably a fan base for it, but not to my knowledge. I dont even know what the NFL Europe IS.

[InvisibleWolfMan]

I grew up with my nose constantly in a book...so I was obvious to the fact that all males need to:

1) Know how to build/fix things at total random, depending on the situation

2) Be obsessed with cars and car care

3) Watch endless amounts of sports and spew out statistics of those sports like I'm preaching the bible

4) Drink and party like an idiot

Boy, although I felt like an outsider my whole childhood (and throughout my teenage years)I can at least say that at the ripe old age of 28-soon-to-be-29, my choices were correct as I didn't have to make such big adjustments into the world of being a semi-responsible adult.

[The Curmudgeon]

Number four sounds pretty familiar. Add to that "wake up covered in own sick" and it becomes even more so.

[hackersanonymous]

Oh, God help me... Don't mention sodding football...

I, like The Curmudgeon, have no real objections to football - so long as other people do it, and don't try to get me involved.

I just don't get the appeal.. Now, if the players were equipped with assorted dismembering implements, then I'd maybe watch that... It would, at least, go some way to explaining the obscene wages some of these guys get for what is little more than kicking a ball about for 90 minutes.

At work, any newcomers foolishly try to engage me in the traditional football talk. Like The Curmudgeon, I've experienced the END CONVERSATION bit... Hell, even folk I've worked with for 6 damn years sometimes forget and try to get me all hyped up about the World Cup.

It seems to be something in the human psyche which demands everyone be interested in something purely because the media crams it down our throats. Not for me, thanks. The only time I'll watch it is if I've either got a son (daughter? Hey, it's 2006) playing, or they've stuck my lobotomised ass in front of the TV.

The infection has even affected my live-in fiancee (who likes footie), "Football is a dirty word" in the house, she stated to assorted friends.. Quite the opposite, I explained - any time you want to watch football, go right ahead - it'll mean I can go off and do other projects which hold more interest to me.... The fact that watching my toenails grow holds more interest is neither here nor there.

I'm also with invisiblewolfman, in that I have no real interest in cars - even though it's some expected I should be... To me, it's a handy (yet costly) 4-wheeled way of getting to/from a destination. Other than the pub, obviously.

I have not, to date, woken up in my own sick. Or even beside it. Never say never, though. Arf!

Toodles!

[hackersanonymous]

Now...

I'd possibly watch the World Cup, if it was based on THIS!

www.sex-worldcup2006.com/groups.php

Toodles!