This place is a joke.

[marcus]

I had the misfortune of coming across several of your reviews on Amazon.com, and what I thought was at first the inane rants of some pre-pubescant idiot were actually a collection of similar reviews (you thrash X-Factor contestants! How daring!) that were being met with something close to acclaim. Staggering. But then, people with low self esteem and intelligence often flock to the lowest common denominator.

So I decided to come take a look at this "Fortress" of yours, and I've only just stopped laughing now. You certainly know how to reel them in, don't you? 20 members? Very impressive. Maybe you're not the big deal you think you are? Maybe you're just actually some sad little man shouting at a world that doesn't care. Sound closer to the truth than "the saviour of the internet?" And sorry for breaking the tradition of just putting my name down, and not calling myself after a character from a childrens comic. I see someone is listed as being a "super villain" too. Tell me, Curmudgeon - have you ever seen a vagina?

I also love the fact how you proclaim to be some "Hate Monger" that lashes out at anyone who dares question your all knowing all seeing power on Amazon, but roll over and take it up the arse in your own website. Are you SO desperate for people to come here that you become some eager to please pansy? You're like a bee without a sting, Curmudgeon. It's pathetic.

It's also very strange that you only let registered members make comments on this site (would I have wasted my time joining this barely alive website otherwise?) Is it an attempt to up the members ratio and make it look like people give a flying fuck about you? Or is it, as I suspect, you hitting out at the world but not allowing anyone else to hit back?

I'm not naive enough to think this comment will stay here for long, as I'm sure as soon as you see something that isn't the sort of praise your weak-minded minions lavish upon you daily, it will be deleted.

Just thought I'd tell you a few truths. Hopefully they'll sink in and you may actually grow up. Miracles can happen, after all.

[trashcanman]

Trust me, man, your comment ain't going anywhere. It shall be loved, cherished, and added to the pantheon of stupidity culled from the dregs that The Curmudgeon so often reels in after casting his net out over the world wide web. But who would be stupid enough to fall for such an obvious ploy? Weeelll...

You can't pay for comedy like your post. Thanks. And for the record, this site was open to one and all for a very long time until spam made that an impossibility. How much time did you spend putting together that grand conspiracy in your mind? Weak minded? Bring it on, kiddo. I and any member of this forum will gladly and easily smash apart any and every piece of logic you try to assemble. You probably won't be able to find your way back and that's a shame because we search long and hard for people like you who are not only stupid enough to bring your pointless sniveling over here, but have the testicular fortitude to stick by their words.

Sorry, C, I would have liked to give you first crack, but I just couldn't help myself. It's too easy. I was nice; don't feel the need to be the same.

[The Curmudgeon]

Well.. where to begin on this one?

I must admit, Marcus, I did get a giddy little thrill from reading your post. I've had trolls and semi-literate insults thrown at me in here, but it's nice to have someone who not only hates me but who can actually string a sentence together. It's a pity those sentences don't contain anything even close to correct, but we can't have everything.

Now, I don't do this often, but for you I will; it's time for The Breakdown. That is, I will go through your post and pick apart every single comment you make. Are you sitting comfortably?

Of course I "thrash" the X-Factor; my reviews on Amazon have always been for the very worst things commercially released, of which Cd's released by Simon Cowell's puppets almost certainly apply. If you don't agree with THAT logic then, well.. we may have a problem. In truth, I would actually love to be able to induct more movies into the Official Room 101 of Amazon, but I don't go out of my way to watch movies I think I'm going to hate. Bad music is there everytime you switch on MTV, but going out of my way to rent something awful just so I can review it..? I don't think so.

The lack of members used to bother me, Marcus, it really did. But then I figured that its actually for the best. The Fortress of Solitude isn't for everyone - never has been. It's for a, let's get this word out of the way, elite group of net users, people who are not only smart and with a sharp sense of humour, but open-minded, fiercely dedicated to the popular culture that they enjoy and able to actually sit down and discuss it, without getting overly defensive or po-faced. You take a lengthy trawl through discussion forums and Youtube etc and you tell me that you can find that anywhere. This place, for various reasons, hasn't attracted huge numbers, and it was never going to. You can't call it "elite" when you allow any old Caps-locked lol-jockies in.

And I'm struggling to find one member here with a name from a "children's comic." The Curmudgeon? Nope. Trashcanman? Taken from a Stephen King book (likewise Silver Bullet). Invisible Wolfman? Derived from iconic horror figures (likewise Norman Bates). Hackers Anonymous? He's a computer expert (trust me, this guy knows his stuff, hoo boy does he) with a cool twist on the name. Or perhaps you mean those two notorious comic book villains, er, Benjamin Haines and Ben? I don't mind personal attacks, Marcus - but at least get some stuff half right.

Oh, and do we really need to go into the "nerds and virgins" argument? Are we really going to go there. Sigh. I can't speak for everyone, but the frequent members of this site are either married, attached or have no problem with the opposite sex. So to your question, "have I ever seen a vagina?" The answer would be "yes." Have I ever seen a vagina write a message on a website? Until you Marcus, I would have had to have said no.

And don't you get it, you pompous dullard? I'm nasty, cruel, sarcastic and vicious to people outside of the Fortress because they're not with me, they're not on my side, as it were. Why the hell would I be the same as I am on, say, Amazon, when I'm surrounded by people who's "company" I enjoy? To use a suitably "childish" analogy, when Dracula goes back to his castle, does he go around trashing the place? When Doctor Doom goes back to Latveria, does he attack and kill everyone there? No. This is a place where I discuss things that matter with EQUALS, you see? Really, why the fuck would I be a dick to people who join my website? You're not even making sense now.

Trashcanman has already corrected you on the "hiding behind a members only" board, but if you need further proof check out the Amazon Reviews section (which I DON'T lock) - it's been hit by Spam yet again. And please, don't flatter yourself for a second with the idea I would even attempt to delete your comment. As Trashy says, we welcome this sort of thing. We're all a sucker for a bit of sport. Hang around, guy - feel free to try and pick fights with anyone in here, you won't stand a chance. And you obviously sat and stewed over that comment for a little while, so if that's your best shot.. you may well be defeated before you hit your second post. Is that a record?

So what exactly was I supposed to offended by? Your accusations that some people like what I have to say and that I respond by treating them with respect? Um... thanks?

That's the key word here, Marcus - respect. We don't all agree on some things. We all have different tastes in movies and music, and I wouldn't have it any other way. What we don't do, though, is indulge in pointless flame wars and petty name-calling, maybe this is the sort of thing you expected to see in here? It's called a Fortress of Solitude for a reason, not just because of its comic book origins. We come here to take a break from that sort of thing.

You know what, why am I even explaining myself here? It would be different if you actually made any valid comments at all, but you haven't said one thing - not one - that's even close to the mark. If you're stupid enough to get sucked into feeling anger from reading my Irresponsible Hate Monger-style comments, then mission accomplished, that's exactly what I intended. Granted, the "marks", to use wrestling slang, who bite are usually a few branches down the old evolution tree, but I'm glad to have you all red faced and upset.

In short, Marcus - I don't know what your intention was, but its failed before you even started. This site will continue to grow, its members will continue to contribute to its success and you will remain inconsequential.

I am, now and forever, The Curmudgeon. Join the ranks of the fallen.

[InvisibleWolfMan]

I was on earlier and actually going to really roast Marcus in a post to end all posts. However, because I had something else important pop up in midway of writing it I discarded the whole idea. It looks like my choice served me well as I believe The Curmudgeon found a way to disassemble your machine which was trying to distribute piss on our low intelligence parade we've got going on here.

I'll go on to say that here at the Fortress I can bring up a discussion from my own point of view and although 9 times out of 10 I might get a reply that falls along the same beliefs as my own it's that 10th time that brings up a discussion. As an example, The Curmudgeon recently brought up the topic of the newly changed opening for THE SIMPSONS and although he and Trshcanman enjoyed it I did not. I was able to spill out my views as harshly as I wanted to but they freely admitted that they thought I was wrong....then told me WHY. Seeing how they're still around and so am I, I guess we actually managed to discuss something.

I know that there are members out there that are married OR at least are in relationships. The highest reason we come here is because our better halves probably know almost all about our obsessions and sometimes would like to discuss their own for a change. So, we need an outlet and a place to be free to express our opinions. I've certainly learned about some things I would not have learned about if I hadn't been coming here for the many discussions we've had. The BEST part of being here IS the discussions. The diversity is not only in what we like personally, but also where it derives from. I love a sunny day but man can it get dry and hot without at least 1 day of rain.....

I can respect the right you have to come here and state how you feel about this place but I also respect the right of The Curmudgeon to challenge your opinions when it's clear that you haven't really taken a look around. We have many different threads. There's a general talk of "all things media" most of the time but there are also personal stories going on as well. We are fully on display here, just being ourselves despite our usernames here at the board. I don't hide myself, it would be impossible. I love classic monster movies and it spawned my name. I have an impossible movie collection which I freely discuss in another thread (poke around, it's easy to find) and I lay some damn cold hard facts about myself to bare within it. I tell it here because they understand it and they also bring about a way to discuss some of the pros and cons that I feel it brings me owning such a collection.

Your comment will remain here as a testament to our undying belief that underneath all the generic pool scum that flock to buy the next hot thing on reality TV or the dime-a-dozen "bands" that either sample, steal or just rape the general ideal of better stuff before it....there really IS something floating on the surface which is ready to crawl onto dry land and take it's place on the evolutionary ladder.

Either that, or it's a Baby Ruth.....

[marcus]

I'm English mate I don't know what a Baby Ruth is.

I just don't understand the mental commitment you have to this website. You all talk like its the only place where you can talk about movies! Hate to break up the tea party fellas but you can have intelligent conversation with thousands of people on thousands of different websites without having to fan the ego of some prick with a God complex.

"Join the ranks of the fallen." WTF?

[Ben]

Well, Marcus, if by "intelligent conversation" you mean LOLZ-filled flame wars, and by "thousands of people on thousands of different websites" you mean thousands of brainless ass clowns on thousands of FoRumzz, then I'd have to agree with you.

Frankly, I don't know of many other websites where people even bother to type words, let alone begin to discuss movies and music intelligently.

[trashcanman]

It shouldn't be too hard to figure out what a Baby Ruth is. He even gave you a picture, for godsakes.

From Wikipedia: "A God complex is a state of mind in which a person believes that they have supernatural powers or god-like abilities."

DO you really see that anywhere around here? You've just been crushed several times over, defend your point of view if you're going to hang around as you are very welcome to do. Being unable to -as they say in the UFC- "intelligently defend yourself" is a TKO and that would put you in the "ranks of the fallen" as The Curmudgeon like to dramatically put it.

You can discuss movies anywhere, IRL or on the net but when I refer to an old Hammer flick or foreign film, the most common answer is "what's that?". Folks around here either know what I'm talking about or are willing and able to find out. Other people can't read subtitles or won't watch anything that isn't in the "new release" section of Blockbuster video. Boring, thoguhtless human beings. Can you say different?

[marcus]

So its OK to be a cunt to anyone and everyone else who don't happen to share your niche views on movies? Is that acceptable to you?

[trashcanman]

When done in an entertaining fashion, yes. I actually already expounded on this a bit on the superhero figurine thread, so have a look there. There are some reviews here trashing several of my favorite films of all time and I can't honestly say it bugged me much. As long as there's no patently untrue information on there, it just some dude's opinion that he typed on his computer and posted to see what people would say. It's of no more value to me then what I personally prescribe to it. If I enjoy it, I'll laugh and come back for more. If not, then it's already ancient history in my mind. That is to say that other people's point of view do not dictate my own. If he was accosting people in the streets he'd be an asshole, but here on the net nobody is tied to their chairs and forced to read. That's the difference.