NO WAY!

[The Curmudgeon]

Well, colour me surprised.

Picture the scene, Loyal Dwellers; The Curmudgeon hears a soft "thump" at the front door in the morning. It's the mail. So, amongst the usual debt letters and threats, there's a small brown package. Hmmm. Interesting.

As its my birthday tomorrow, I figured it may be something that Mrs C ordered from the net. But no - this is written in a fairly familiar scrawl... and on the back of the package there's a small message.

"Just when you thought it was safe to go to the post box."

OK, I know the reference... I think I know the handwriting.. but what the hell...?

And it was this..



The 2 disc steelbook edition of Jaws. From this man



(His name was scrawled on the front of the envelope I soon discovered)

Wolfy... I .. really don't know what to say. Was I suprised? Of course. Was I profoundly touched? Undoubtedly. Was this because I mentioned it was my birthday last week? Man... I need to start dropping more hints!!

Seriously, though - Wolfman, you are beyond cool. Thank you. You know, when I said I was going to rob you for this, I was only (half) joking.

Puffed out chest time - you want an online community? You want genuine strong bonds between members? This place fucking HAS IT.

Wolfman.. it's been a while but... sniff.. c'mere!

[trashcanman]

I'm in danger of staring at that beautiful DVD case all day even just seeing the picture. If I had that thing, my wife would be jealous of it. If a gift like that don't guarantee a happy birthday, I don't know what does. Fantastic.

[InvisibleWolfMan]

First of all, let me start off this post by saying:



Followed quickly by:



Yes....CHECKMATE! You see, this oddly morphed from a "random surprise gift" to a "random surprise gift as part of a weirdly elaborate and overextended April Fool's Day joke." The fact that it's arrived just before your birthday is the icing on the er....cake.

When you mentioned how much you'd want my JAWS steelbook in my "DVD COLLECTIONS THAT OWN YOU..." thread I though "Hey...that'd be a nice surprise." I'm like that to good friends...it's nice to put a smile on their faces for the sheer fact of doing so. Well....within scant days of my decision...along comes "Marcus" to the board. Like a few other dwellers here, I spent a couple of posts before I realized what was going on. And I KNEW who was behind it... ;D The giveaway? Check it out here:

thecurmudgeon.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=various&thread=926&page=1#5015

It's the statement that says:

Mar 29, 2009 21:38:37 GMT 2 marcus said:

The invisible man even tried to make me join this place!

Somehow, that sent off the bells ringing...I posted about it possibly being a joke later in the same thread and though The Curmudgeon immediately swore up and down it was real...it just seemed too similar to the practical joke played on him by his friend (which I reference in my post) NOT to be. So I thought "Ok...I'm gonna wait before sending this off to see if he's joking. If he is, I'm gonna play along like a string waiting to be strung and THEN see if he suspects that I'm up to something on my end."

SO...April 1st sure enough....

Apr 1, 2009 10:18:03 GMT 2 marcus said:

You can't say I didn't warn you, Curmudgeon. You're not the only one who knows a "hacker". One e-mail to him was all it took and he cracked your shitty little site open like a fucking Easter egg.

You think its ok to insult people? You think its ok to have some God complex and that you're better than everyone else? Well I don't. And like I said, it was time someone did something about it. So now NO-ONE can post anything on your website. It's closed. It's done. It's OVER.

So you want a suitable quote to end all this, something you and your nerdy little friends might understand?

MARCUS WINS. FLAWLESS VICTORY.

So first thing I do is head on over to the proboards forums and act all panicky:

support.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=support&thread=304440

I also emailed and PM'd The Curmudgeon being all panicky. I left him the link to the proboards topic I started. I think what really sold the panic feeling was this little statement:

I'll also go as far as to say that it'd probably suit my friend quite well if the new member's account and ISP was banned from access, as well as the ISP of the person who did the actual hacking IF IT'S POSSIBLE. Quite certainly we don't want that kind of trouble again at the forum.

Well, I soon got a reply from The Curmudgeon, admitting it was a joke and politely asking me if I could 1) keep it to myself and 2) take care of the proboards post before they actually took some sort of action. Of course, I played dumbfounded about his prank and in my last e-mail to him during that day I wrote:

Got it fixed now. Glad I could er...help you against yourself.

Next thing you know a shark will be biting your hand or something. All in a good day's work I suppose.

Which, of course, was my first direct reference to my surprise gift. And thankfully, he didn't catch on as I received no reply. And since he publicly admitted here that he was Marcus, I've been dropping hints by putting subtle JAWS quotes in EVERY ONE of my posts starting with the last official post on the April 1st THE FORTRESS IS CLOSED FOR GOOD thread (go on...leaf through my posts from then until today and see if you can spot the quotes). The Curmudgeon's last post there asks if it's really possible to send viruses to which I reply:

Apr 4, 2009 11:41:17 GMT 2 InvisibleWolfMan said:

Actually, it IS possible to send a virus. The "malicious code" can be attached to some sort of file (a picture, sound or document file) and can be sent either email OR of course if you happen upon the file while using your machine. In most cases, the file has to be opened in some way in order to wreck havoc, BUT it doesn't mean that it's not possible to receive a "ticking time bomb...." like you're from New York.

I just want to say that I think some of the BEST comedy in the world happens when the person pulling the prank can keep a straight face while the effect of the prank begins to take hold of the audience it's intended for. You're certifiable, The Curmudgeon! You know that? I laughed my ass off at this prank and I'm sure that time will tell a different story someday soon about who got who. Or, in the words of Monty Python:

So now I'll close this post with a hearty

[The Curmudgeon]

Well, hey, if all April Fool's Day jokes end with me getting sweeeeet DVDs then it'll be officially my favourite time of the year. When I first read the "shark biting your hand" line I didn't get it, but thought you might have been talking about British comedian Harry Hill (who often has a shark puppet come up and bite him) but then realised you probably wouldn't even know who he was. So, yeah - that didn't sink in at all.

So, well played all the same Wolfy. Like I said before, I didn't get the chance to really "flesh out" my anti-Curmudgeon character, but.. there's always next year...