Two great stories I heard yesterday.

[The Curmudgeon]

Now, these are both total Ripley Believe it or Not stories, and if anyone can debunk them I'd be delighted. I heard these stories from a guy yesterday, and if they're true or not - I dunno, but they're worth hearing anyway. By the way, both these stories are fucking VILE. Be warned.

A friend of this guy (NOT a "Friend of a Friend", I know my Urban Legends, thank you very much) went on holiday and went with a hooker. Now, she did this thing called the Starburst Game (or something along those lines), where she put some Starburst sweets up her and the guy had to eat them out. Now, quite as to WHY anyone would want to eat out a hooker (hmmm... you taste.. salty) is anyone's guess, but this guy did. Anyway, he managed to, er, fish out 3 Starbursts. The hooker says she can feel one more up there. So he gets that out too.

Anyway, next morning his friends arrive back at his hotel to find him unconscious, covered in his own shit, piss and vomit. They rush him to hospital and the doctors all ask him what he'd been doing. He doesn't want to tell them until he starts breaking out in a rash and boils, and so he comes clean. Anyway, they do a scan or a blood test or whatever and it turns out that the guy had eaten three Starburst sweets.. and a crabs nest. Believe it or not!

Anyway, this girl told me that her friend was in a club and she was getting it on with this guy. She was going to go home with him but decided not to, and went home. She then started getting this weird rash on her mouth, and went to the doctors. Suddenly the police started getting involved - because the rash was caused by BLACK LICE, which can only be spread through CORPSES. Turns out the guy she was kissing had been sticking it to three dead bodies he kept in his house - and she may well have become the fourth. Believe it or not!

Now, I may not have all the medical facts and figures, but that's pretty much the gist of the stories. Again, they may be nonsense, but damn..

[Benjamin Haines]

I've heard a slightly more tame variation of the first story, which involved the guy just going to the doctor for a checkup on his own time and having eaten a herpes sack (do those even exist in "sack" form?).

[trashcanman]

Crabs are just lice that are in the pubic hair. They wouldn't be up inside of her and there's no reason that eating their eggs would make him ill. The fact that Haines heard a variation of the story is a debunker in itself. I've never heard of black lice and a quick googling mainly yielded the idiotic question of whether or not black people can get lice. Lice feed on warm blood. What the fuck would they want with a corpse? A strain of lice that only hung out on corpses wouldn't last very long. Sorry, man, but I call bullshit on those stories.

[mackshere]

This trashcanman fellow seems to be a little too familiar with the tendencies of lice.
Sweet stories C....

[The Curmudgeon]

Yeah, I pretty much cried BS when I heard them too, and it was Mrs C who first told me the same thing Trashy just did (how she is so clued-up on that I.. really don't want to know) but as the saying goes, never let the truth get in the way of a good story.