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Post by The Curmudgeon on Oct 30, 2009 3:32:21 GMT 2
A couple' years back, I posted a link to "Thou Shall Always Kill" by Dan le Sac and Scroobius Pip, which pretty much puts the world to rights. I've posted the original before, but to give you an idea, here's the new version with De La Soul fighting the fight.
"Thou shall not type LOL unless you're REALLY laughing out loud."
So, with that in mind, I thought it'd be cool to try and think of our own. Funny, serious, weird.. it's all good. I'll get the ball rolling..
Thou Shall Not - go see a band and shout for their biggest song.
Thou Shall Not - audition for America's Next Top Model, 'cos Tyra's always going to look better than you anyway.
Thou Shall Not - say "I'm not racist, but.." and then say something racist.
Any more?
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Post by trashcanman on Oct 30, 2009 21:51:49 GMT 2
Thou Shall Not - insist that "some of my best firends are [minority group]" after saying something ignorant and hateful about them.
Thou Shall Not - shout "take it off" at female musicians onstage.
Thou Shall Not - shout "take it off" at all, really.
Thou Shall Not - go to see a movie that is being endlessly compared to a movie you didn't like.
Thou Shall Not - write a one paragraph review on Amazon about how stupid said movie was without recognizing the irony.
Thou Shall Not - pay good money to see the films of Michael Bay.
Thou Shall Not - partake of the dreaded reality television scourge.
Thou Shall Not - use CG blood in a film. Ever.
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Nov 3, 2009 4:09:22 GMT 2
Ha. Nice.
Thou Shalt Not - confuse having a nice singing voice with being a pop star.
Thou Shalt Not - imprison Roman Polanski.
Thou Shalt Not - Free Lil' Wayne.
Thou Shalt Not - download entire seasons of TV shows and then complain when they get cancelled due to poor ratings.
Thou Shalt Not - buy any more fucking "Party" games for the Wii.
Thou Shalt Not - try and teach me card games.
Thou Shalt Not - pretend Michael Jackson jokes are now suddenly offensive and untrue.
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Post by trashcanman on Nov 3, 2009 10:29:59 GMT 2
Quick off-topic: is drugging and sodomizing a 13-year old against her will considered okay if you are a filmmaker?
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Nov 3, 2009 12:58:36 GMT 2
Hmmmm. Well, see, the girl in question doesn't WANT Polanski in jail. She doesn't want to go to trial, she doesn't want to talk about it. She wants to move on. It happened 30 odd years ago, she's forgiven him.
So - yeah.
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Post by trashcanman on Nov 3, 2009 23:21:46 GMT 2
And if the girl in question were your daughter or younger sister? One's ability to run from the law for 3 decades should hardly be considered a reason to waive off penalties for rape and child molestation. We charge and punish people based on their crime, not whether or not the victim has the ability to get on with their life afterwards. There's a Japanese guy who lived in France that KILLED AND ATE his girlfriend. He fled to Japan where he is now a popular celebrity porn star living quite comfortably. No joke. www.electricsky.com/catalogue_detail.aspx?program=1616 This refusal to extradite people based on nationalism or celebrity status is fucking insane. On a lighter note: Thou shall not sparkle in the sunlight if you are a vampire. Thou shall not bootleg/pirate when the product is readily available to you for purchase. Thou shall not type "first" when commenting on a story on a popular website. Thou shall not engage in console fanboyism. Thou shall not bestow the Oscar upon average Pixar films when amazing foreign films kick their ass. |
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Nov 4, 2009 20:57:54 GMT 2
Yeah, I'd heard about that asshole before. Unbelievable. Who, honestly, wants to read a fucking restraunt review by someone who confessed to killing someone and having sex with the corpse before eating it? That is a thousand times messed up. Makes the psuedo-celebrity shit seen in Natural Born Killers seem tame.
As for Polanski, yeah I know you're right, but I have a soft spot for the guy. Hell, his wife and unborn kid were butched by the Manson family - that's enough to screw most people up. I've actually recorded a documentary on the subject 'cos I don't know a whole lot about it. Maybe my opinion will change then. But jeez, the guy's in his late 70s. What good would putting him in jail now do?
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Post by trashcanman on Nov 4, 2009 21:22:01 GMT 2
He's that old? We haven't seen him around here much obviously. I suppose I can see where y'all are coming from since nobody likes to pick on old people. But it's always pissed me the hell off that he got away so clean. And the way the French seemed to be so proud to have "poached" a big celebrity and worshiped the dude too. I wonder if they offered up their own children for the honor if they were so into him? I don't know how having your family killed translates into raping pre-pubescent girls when you are able to score a woman of Sharon Tate quality to begin with, but I'm just saying that pedophilia is like fucking potato chips. You never stop at just one.
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