Superheroes: Who's life would you want?

[The Curmudgeon]

One thing about most super heroes, for all their powers and abilities, most of their lives are a crock of shit.

Bruce Banner - most powerful creature on earth, but also a tragic, cursed figure who's powers have turned him into public enemy number 1.

Iron Man - super rich, super cool, super alcoholic.

Batman - well, yeah.


So if you had to pick a super hero to be, who would you pick? An obvious answer might be Peter Parker. Awesome powers, cool costume, smart guy, and anyone with these







as bedpost notches must be doing something right - right? But then you have to remember Peter's entire life is dominated by guilt and an obsession with doing The Right Thing. Plus the majority of Peter's friends and family have either been killed by or turned into super villains. Fuck that.

So my choice? If I had to pick a super hero to become, taking into account the whole package - I would pick this guy..



Yup - the Human Torch. Super rich, awesome power, chick magnet, doesn't have to hide behind a mask and has three other people watching his back the whole time. Yeah OK he got cockblocked by the Silver Surfer, but I could live with that. Being Johnny Storm must be pretty cool.

So that's my choice - how about yours?

[trashcanman]

Nice pick. Very nice. For lack of an original answer right now, I'm going to go with Spidey after seeing this cover.



I wouldn't mind waking up to that. Most of Parker's problems are one I already have and deal with anyways, plus I'd have sweet spider powers and top-shelf comic hotties chasing me all over creation.

[The Curmudgeon]

Damn. That picture is, er.. artistic.

Yeah, Parker's sex life may be great, but on the whole he has pretty much the shittest life ever. Parents dead, caused the death of his uncle, constantly having to lie to his aunt so he can buy her medicine (well, that was the old storyline, anyway).

Oh yes, and an assortment of the biggest, most pant-shittingly frightening people in the world constantly trying to kill you. Carnage, Venom, Goblin, Doc Ock, Lizard, Vulture, Sandman, Electro.. and that's just his own villains. He even fucks with guys like Doctor Doom and the Kingpin because he can't help himself.

I think the only guy who has worse luck than Spidey is the Punisher.

[trashcanman]

Shoot, that's nothing compared to my school years.