Post by The Curmudgeon on Nov 21, 2009 21:47:04 GMT 2
Hunh! Good God, y'all! What is this good for? Absolutley nothing.
War is hell. War rips apart families, destroys lives and ruins nations. War is responsible for some of the world's great atrocities from which we will never fully recover, from 9/11 to mass genocide to quite possibly the most horrific war crime imaginable - Coming Home by The Soldiers.
An introduction, then. The Soldiers are three genuine, well, soldiers who can sing.. a bit. There's a handsome one, a chubby, cheeky looking one and then there's the bald one who looks a bit like Pluto from the Hills Have Eyes. And they've given up "defenden our country from teh muslems" (thank you, Youtube - always good for a quote from the mentally damaged) to join forces and create an album for.. well, that I'm not too sure about.
So what have the nation's finest created? Ooooh, go on - guess. That's right - a selection of songs covered ad nauseum by every other unoriginal cover artist under the sun. You could bin the track list of this CD and still know what you're going to get. Tears in Heaven, Bridge over Troubled Water, With a Little Help From My Friends, Against All Odds - basically; "hmmm, that song could be seen with a faint 'war' perspective, bung that in.' And there's also a few original songs in there as well, such as the title track, complete with that notorious Weapon of Musical Destruction.. oh the humanity, we're talking PAN PIPES.
Oh, and all you X-Factor obsessives; wretched, tragic creatures that you are, may recognise the handsome soldier from a previous series, where he was booted out in the early stages of the show. So it seems that courageous, lion-hearted young man was just destined to sing mawkish cover versions on a horrible, poorly conceived album. Sniff. The determination of our brave boys, eh?
I'm really struggling to find out exactly who this album is aimed at. Who the hell wants to buy this? The songs are all bargain bin, none more cheap sounding covers that have all been done many times before and the original songs are tedious, cliched slop. So who's it aimed at? War widows? Flag waving, red-faced, "send them all back" BNP cretins? Other soldiers for target practice? I really have no idea.
OK, look, I know this album is for charity and all that, but it seems that because it's "for a good cause" any heart and soul can be jettisoned out the window, and judging by the self-important, puffed out idiots on Youtube, to even think about criticising this record is tantamount to urinating on the flag. Like I've said before when reviewing other cringe-worthy charity attempts - put money in a tin by all means. But why give in to this garbage?
And if we really have to have a "war" themed album, with every song having some dubious, tenuous link, then damn it all, where is their pan-piped up version of Crank Dat by Soulja Boy? Or N-N-N-N-Nineteen? War Pigs? The A-Team theme tune?
Let's face it, it could only be an improvement.
See: The Soldiers - Coming Home:
