Do American's get this at their door?

[The Curmudgeon]

In the UK we call them God Botherers. Or Bible Bashers. And whilst this is a fairly exaggerated take on the subject, this clip from the League of Gentlemen's third series isn't really that far off..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dsEcHAoyb4

There's been countless jokes, sketches and punchlines aimed at religious people "spreading the word" door to door from British sources, as it's a pretty common thing. But to my memory I've never seen, say, an American sitcom (the Simpsons, for example) take a pop at this sort of thing. So is this a purely British practise? Do American's get shiny eyed people at the door with books and leaflets wanting to talk to you about Heaven and the afterlife etc? Or have you dodged that particular bullet?

[Benjamin Haines]

Oh, they're definitely around on this side of the pond. Mainly of the Jehova's Witness denomination but I don't think there's any sect of Christianity that doesn't dabble in it. I've only encountered them at the front door of a place where I was living or a friend I was visiting a few times in my life, but I've lived in southern state suburbs all my life and I think they're more of a presence in big urban areas.

You'll probably get a kick out of this. Kevin Smith talks about his time working for Prince on a Jehovah's Witness convention of sorts circa 2002.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy_cLJ19HMg&fmt=18

[trashcanman]

In my neighborhood, it's Mormons. Ugh. I would like to verbally tear apart their religion and throw the shreds of some of their stupefying beliefs (dark skin is a curse from God, for one) into their face, but the fact is they are really nice people who are often ignorant about the teachings of their own religion so I tend to just ask for a copy of their pamphlet and shoo them off as politely as possible. Most Christians take it out of country and go do charity work for the less fortunate in poor countries as an excuse to spread the word.That's my preferred method of religious recruitment because at least some good is being done. JW's and Mormons are just freakin' pests.

[The Curmudgeon]

A couple of years ago I was walking home and across the street were these two pretty damn smokin' teenage blonde girls. They were looking right at me and obviously talking about me. Intrigued, I kept walking and they crossed the street to talk to me. Score... or not.

They then started asking me if I ever wondered if there was life after death and if God existed etc etc. If it had been some weirdo guy I would have obviously walked on, but.. hey, I'm a sucker for two hot blondes. I have a penis. Sorry. I mutter some garbage about "well, you know, I'd like to THINK there's something up there and all that" while they nod and smile oh so sweetly. They then ask if it would be OK to visit one day and talk about it. Perfect porno scenario that it is, even I'm not that blinkered, so I tried to get out of it. I said that would be fine and pointed to the street across from where we were standing as where I lived.

They pulled out a big folder and looked at the streets. "Hmm. We've visited all those houses today, which one do you live in?" I stuttered, went red and said, "oh, wait.. uh, I actually live in that street over there", pointing to a street about four blocks away. I then made my leave, safe in the knowledge I had joined the ranks of the damned. Damn holy hotties.

[trashcanman]

I heard the Pac-Man death noise in my head right there. They use hot college girls here as well. They send a sweet young thang and when you agree to talk they wave in the fam. Vaccuum salespeople do the same thing except they call in an illegal immigrant who obviously hates his job to do the demonstration while the hotness goes on to the next house. One Mormon dude noticed the video game paused on tv and suckered me by engaging me in conversation about that.

[Ben]

I can't stand those people. The ones I get always come by in the summer dressed in suits, and rather than ask if I'm a believer or whatnot, they take one look at my Megadeth t-shirt (or whatever other band I've chosen to advertise that day) and start railing me about how I need to be prepared for the afterlife and repent my sins or some shit.

After I get sick of listening to them spout (which takes about 10 seconds), I quote scripture ("Judge not, lest you be judged also" -Matthew 7:1) and slam the door in their incredulous faces. Take that Jehovah's Witnesses.

[The Curmudgeon]

Once the door slams in their face they probably say, "damn it, I hate when that one gets thrown back in our faces."

So has that happened before, Ben? They've taken a look at a fucking SHIRT you're wearing and come to the conclusion you're a sinner?

[Ben]

That's my assumption. It's probably my appearance in general. Earrings, band shirt, shaggy hair.

Not once have I ever been asked a question to lead off the conversation. They always get that "this one needs saving quickly!" look on their faces and go right into their spiel.