They don't make 'em like this anymore.

[The Curmudgeon]

I remember trying in vain to get into these old text adventure games, based on the idea that - hey - there's a great game in there somewhere. And they had such promise. Spider-Man, the Hulk.. a whole world just waiting to be explored.

www.abandonia.com/en/games/24666/Questprobe+Featuring+Spider-Man.html

Fuck that.

Get this; the Hulk game when it first came out, NO ONE knew how to get past the FIRST SCREEN. Basically the game starts with Bruce Banner tied to a chair. You can type LOOK all you want, you can suggest "LEAVE CHAIR, GET OUT OF CHAIR, TURN INTO HULK" all you want, you are stuck there. The solution, that the makers of the fucking game had to make public? BITE LIP. Seriously.

www.abandonia.com/en/games/24652/Questprobe+Featuring+The+Hulk.html

Yeah, just like you see him do in the comics or movie. Bite fucking lip. Who the hell would think of doing that??

Anyway, Cracked.com have taken the gamer of today and let him play one of those games. Fun and games to be had. Make sure you read the background text as well.

www.cracked.com/blog/revisiting-old-school-text-adventures-as-a-jaded-modern-gamer/?fb_ref=columnists_p1&fb_source=profile_oneline

[theothernewestone]

That. Was fucking hilarious.

[trashcanman]

I used to try and play those kinds of games. Great idea in theory, instant fucking headache in reality. For that Hulk one, I'd just type "Hulk SMASH" for every scenario. You know, I once played an MMO that was all text and no pictures like that Cracked game. The only other person I met asked me to fuck them. Oi. That didn't last long. Man, who was the demographic for these text games? Horrible!