Like Ric Flair, but even more depressing.

[The Curmudgeon]

I had a thread about a week or so ago showing a website of legendary wrestler Ric Flair selling personal phone-calls for 500 bucks. Pretty damn sad. But that's a guy who's beyond respected in the business, over 60 and had all kinds of bad luck in the last few years. Shit happens, and a guy's gotta make a living.

So yeah, there's Ric Flair.. and then there's Jeff Hardy.



In the 90's, Jeff and his brother blew up the WWE with their unique tag-team wrestling, bringing ladder matches, chair matches and all kinds of insane death leaps into mainstream wrestling. The Hardy Boys were great. When the team eventually split, Matt was a solid midcard player, but Jeff actually became insanely popular in the WWE after this, becoming a legit main event contender and world champ. There was just one major problem. Those pesky "demons."

So Jeff was suspended more than once from the company because of problems with drink and drugs. There are a few parts to this story. One, it was given a few veiled references in promo's by Hardy's rival and internet darling, CM Punk, a legit Straight Edge wrestler. In the end, Hardy was let go by the company because he couldn't stay clean. CM Punk, meanwhile, is now THE hottest thing in wrestling without a shadow of a doubt.

So Jeff goes to TNA, who don't have half as strict a no-drugs policy as WWE has. Vince McMahon has always been in the firm belief that, as his "Superstars" they should present themselves to the world in an acceptable manner. TNA? Not so much. So we get these gems.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4xzsLXxtXM

That's his own "bands" song, by the way. Catchy, no? No.

And then this, where he talks about CM Punk, while his equally fucked up brother Matt (also fired from WWE, now in TNA.. sensing a pattern here?) eats and talks about his ex-girlfriend Lita.. who he dated almost ten YEARS ago.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6GcrIBhBWA

Final straw, even for TNA? As well as constantly having to re-write storylines and plots because Jeff had to keep going to court for drug charges (happened about three times now by my count), there was a PPV Main Event match a few months ago where Jeff fought WCW legend Sting for the world title. The match was supposed to last 40 or so minutes. Jeff came to the ring out of his mind on drink or drugs or whatever.. now this is a "sport" where one botched move can leave the other guy crippled, and Hardy comes to the ring like that? So, the 40 minute title match ends in under a minute when Sting sees the state Jeff is in, throws the script out of the window and pins Jeff as quickly as possible. People paid $35 dollars for that PPV. And Jeff hasn't been seen since, except in another video where him and his equally binned from TNA brother Matt film themselves, surprisingly un-sober, using a taser on Matt's girlfriend for laughs.

So yeah, Ric Flair hawking himself for $500 dollars is pretty sad. But the story of the Hardy Boys is just fucking tragic.

[trashcanman]

"Broken bone from parts unknown"

Whoa. Deep.

"CM Punk. I think you're a nerd."



Oooooooh! Sn-iz-ap! And then getting all up in his grill with allegation of Ambien, muthafucka! DAAAAAAMMMNNNN!!!

That's it? That's all a "hardcore" motherfucker can say? Punk wins by goddamn default. The only way he could lose to that kind of lameness if in his diss video he ends up crying and pisses himself on camera. So wait, when did Straight Edge become marketable? Nothing puts you further underground away from the rest of society than not drinking or doing drugs. Shit, I still get Stray Cats lyrics quoted to me every time I admit to it.

[The Curmudgeon]

It's funny how they present it. When he first appeared on the scene he was a good guy, and the commentators would say "he's straight edge, his only drug is competition!" And he looked all poster-boyish.



A few years later he became the biggest bad guy on the roster, and developed a "Cult", where he would preach to the audience about how they were all on drink and drugs and that "Straight Edge means I'm better than you." And he looked like Charles Manson. He did quote Fugazi lyrics a few times, though. Are they a S.E band?



Now. he's still Straight Edge but doesn't ram it down anyone's throat, and he's lost the psycho beard. And he didn't even respond to the Hardy videos. Why bother?

And hey, it may be "socially" unpopular with some people, but being S.E hasn't done Punk any harm. Check out his list of legit bedpost notches..







Dunno about you, I'd take that over a few beers any day of the week.

[trashcanman]

No doubt. Fugazi is a SE band, but they mostly leave it out of their lyrics. They aren't fans of people preaching like it's a religion. Ian Mackaye got that out of his system in Minor Threat. It's never supposed to be about judging other people, SE is just a philosophy that your life will be better and you'll make better decisions if you do away with things that take all of your time, energy, and resources, and offer you nothing in return but the inability to think straight. Casual sex is also on that list. If you spend all your time worrying about getting laid, it's pretty much the same thing as drug addiction. But you won't hear too many people bragging about abiding by that particular view.

[The Curmudgeon]

So did you make, like, a conscious decision to live a SE live style or did it just come about eventually? I mean, did you at, say, 13 or whatever, say.. "fuck all that noise. I'm not putting any of that shit in my system.. EVER."

[trashcanman]

I don't know, it just never struck me as a good idea. I just didn't want to do it. I didn't even know SE was a thing until college. When I was in high school, there were all of these assholes douching up the place and all they cared about was drinking and drugs and fucking and I just didn't feel the need to do what they were doing. Everybody's excuse for doing moronic, destructive things was always that they were drunk or stoned or to impress aq girl and smokers were always acting like dicks if they couldn't go out and have a cig every 15 minutes and I just figured, "well, that's a simple thing to avoid" and so I did. I mean, I've tasted varieties of alcohol and hung out with people smoking weed and all that so it's not like it's anything like "oh. that's BAD, keep it away!", it's just drugs and alcohol is not something I think is going to enrich my life in any way. I tell people that I act enough like an idiot without any of that stuff, and I'd be downright scary with it.

[The Curmudgeon]

Man, smokers are the most annoying fucking people on the planet. EVERYWHERE you go, even if its the most beautiful, unspoiled place in the world, you either see cigarette butts or big signs saying you can't smoke. The hotel we go to in Gran Canaria has to have signs at every stop of a lift and inside the lift because idiots keep lighting up whilst waiting ten seconds for a lift. Morons.

Hey man, whatever works for you. I'm not into drugs but I do like a drink. I think some people just shouldn't drink. I've been with people who get paranoid, edgy ("what's he fucking looking at?" - that kind of shit), or they get nasty, bitter or even violent. There are a million reasons not to touch the stuff.

EDIT - oh, slightly back to the original topic, the winner of this years Tough Enough (reality show to find a new wrestler), who called himself, ugh, "Silent Rage" - was a supposed Straight Edge guy who talked all the time about his drug free lifestyle blah blah.

Yeah, he just got suspended for steroid abuse. "Silent Roid Rage", then. Whooops.

[trashcanman]

Ugh. What a douche. But now people are lying about being SE to be popular? What next, are jocks and preppies going to start posing as nerds by dressing up like LARPers and memorizing Starcraft trivia so they can be considered cool at school? Shit, as soon as most people find out I don't drink they look at me like I'm insane and either pretend I'm not there when socializing or get actively offended like I'm doing them some grave wrong by not spending $100 or so a night in some club with shitty music to pass out in my own vomit or get in a fight with some guy because he thought I looked at him funny or something. I prefer to do things that I enjoy. They prefer to spend money on chemicals to make things that are very much dull as fuck SEEM enjoyable. Nothing against social drinkers or recreational smokers; you know the people I'm talking about. I just don't get the appeal of that particular lifestyle. Not saying it's not awesome for them; it's just not for me.