Van Helsing

[The Curmudgeon]

Laughable.

This really could have been something special. Take the classic monsters from Universal (Dracula, Frankensteins monster, Wolfman) and pit them all against a bad-ass, tooled up Van Helsing, all with today's super-duper special effects? The result - this utter turd of a movie.

First things first - the effects. Yes, they're good, but Sommers (he of The Mummy and Mummy returns infamy) seems to think that you don't actually NEED plot or, like, characters - you just need LOADS and LOADS and LOADS of effects, thrown at the screen every single minute. When you start to tut and roll your eyes when yet ANOTHER monster comes at the screen, or another transformation or whatever, you know something is wrong.

And then there's Hugh Jackman himself, basically being Wolverine but with less attitude. In truth, he's about as wooden as the stakes he carries, and about as interesting.

Add to that a TERRIBLE "comedy" tag-along partner, the worst Dracula in movie history, some of the stupidest action sequences known to man and a veering on self-parody ending and you really do have something that should be put to eternal rest. A sadly missed opportunity - and a sequel is NOT required.

[trashcanman]

Ha, ha, ha. Cheesy fun; that's all this movie is. When I saw this in the theater with a friend of mine it was like "Mystery Science Theater 3000" in there. I enjoyed myself, but the movie is ridiculous beyond words. I mean, the moral of the story seems to be: why walk anywhere when you can just swing? Even Frankenstein's monster spends a good amount of time airborne. And why is it that the Wolfman can enter a house with a roof out of direct moonlight, but when clouds cover the moon he reverts back to his human form? This is done is some form like half a dozen times. Clouds seem to rule the freakin' world in this movie. So stupid. I did dig the brides of Dracula, though their acting was waaaaay over the top. Sommers makes a fun popcorn flick, but he wouldn't know good horror if it bit him on the neck.

[The Curmudgeon]

I dunno, I have no problem with movies that are "cheesy fun". Phantom, to me, is cheesy fun. Van Helsing just seems like a super-expensive waste of time.