Pop Justice League - Week One!

[The Curmudgeon]

Thank you for joining us today. Please take a seat. This may take some time.

You have been summoned to help bring a taste of justice back into the music world. Today you will witness a music video, not from some respected artist or from anyone seated today's favourite artists, but from the top of the charts. A pop hit, in other words. They may differ in age, but every video you see over the coming weeks will have sold hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions, of copies.

As judge, jury and executioner you will decide the fate of a pop artist, based on your feelings towards, and this is important, the SONG and NOT any personal feelings of distaste or ill-will harboured towards the artist themselves. However many votes are cast over the next seven days will secure the bands fate.

Are we all clear, ladies and gentlemen? Then let us begin. Bring forward the first suspect.



This is Train, American pop-rock veterans who disappeared for years after a dire mainstream smash hit ("Drops of Jupiter") and would then return with "Hey, Soul Sister", a song that redefined the term loathsome. Both of these songs are not on trial today, because this is intended to be a fair trial. The song we are talking about today? "Drive By", another huge hit for the band, and the one that your humble narrator could not only stomach, but actually very much enjoyed. Here is exhibit A:



And now their fate lies in YOUR hands. What is your verdict?

[Quillford]

So to elaborate on my vote. Burn them I say. Look, I don't like train and I am ashamed to say somewhere in the depths of that ghastly SingStar is "Hey Soul Sister". I think they latched onto that "sound" that they quite frequently abuse and they do it well. Do I like the sound? Not really. I find them generic. Is this song any different? No. Or at least I don't think so.
Lets take a look, is it less repetitive? Not really. Is it better than there previous (s)Hits? By a smidge. When I say smidge I may mean exactly that. I only can see this as better because I genuinely think that it has some merit as a pop song. It's catchy, it's something that will probably get some decent recognition. It's lyrics actually make sense unlike "Your lipstick stains, On the front lobe of my, Left-side brains". Yeah good one. Prick.
But don't misunderstand me the song in question is pretty bad. It's generic. It sounds like pretty much most of their other stuff in comparison. Any song that is released in 2012 and still uses the word "groovy" and rhymes "you" with "you" is destined to be binned by myself. Make way for more original artists that don't feel like their wasting my time. NEEEEEEEEEEXT!

[Mrs_C]

Although I do usually despise Train on a level normally reserved for Maroon 5. I do actually enjoy this song and think it is a very accomplished slice of pop in today's EDM obsessed hell.

[trashcanman]

I was undecided until it hit the chorus. I don't know how much pop country hits the shores of the UK, but over here it's everywhere and it's leaking. Country ruined itself by abandoning its folk roots and trying to be a shittier version of rock when rock was the biggest seller, and now that country is the top dog all of the shitty rock acts are ripping off pop country hits and it is fucking HORRIBLE. Like a feedback loop of musical cancer. That chorus sounds like it came a Band Perry or Carrie Underwood tune and or that, I condemn them to the abyss.

[hackersanon]

One of many reasons I only listen to CDs/MP3s in the car nowadays. Burn, bitches, burn!!

[The Curmudgeon]

Nice to see a few old faces back again (thank YOU, Facebook!) and Trash, I think the closest we get to pop country is Taylor Swift. Carrie Underwood I've heard of, but don't think I've ever seen come near a UK chart, so that's maybe why I quite like this song. I suppose if I heard nothing but this sort of thing I would condemn it to death as well.

Anyway, it's looking like Train will be met with swift, merciless death this Sunday, with double the votes baying for their blood. Will they be saved..?

[trashcanman]

Picture about 10 other blonde girls that look and sound just like Swift and add about 10 fake cowboys clumsily utilizing hip-hop slang and you'll get a picture of what it's like over here.

[The Curmudgeon]

Funnily enough, just today I sat next to a girl who was playing all that kind of stuff, and it was fucking dreadful. That's the annoying part of the TV show "Nashville." It's a good show, the eye candy is off the charts but man, the music is terrible. It's one thing to have Hayden's character singing what they class as "teeny bopper" country songs, which are supposed to be lightweight fluff, but hot red head from American Horror Story's character is supposed to be this "for real", respected country singing star, and her songs are just as bad. I don't want to write off an entire genre, but man, country music, if this is indeed country music, really fucking sucks.

[trashcanman]

Honestly, I'd take what's on Nashville over the actual stuff that gets airplay any day. None of it is "real" country, though. Like I said, it's just shitty, watered down rock music twisted into pop. Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson are fucking country. John Denver is country. Charlie Daniels and Kenny Rogers are country. The Eagles are country. Skynyrd and Creedence may be rockin', but the are just as much country. I've never heard anyone who started recording after the 80's that can be called "real country".

[The Curmudgeon]

And the results are in, and even though Mr and Mrs C both enjoyed the song, we cannot change the law. Train, kiss your loved ones goodbye and smoke a last cigarette. This is your future.



The Pop Justice League have spoken!