The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

[The Curmudgeon]

For A Limited Time Only! Things The Curmudgeon Actually LIKES - Part Five!

Hmmm, now see.. this is where it gets complicated. Not to bog you all down in backstory, but this was SUPPOSED to be the fifth and final part of a series where, instead of slating the worst things Amazon sells, I praise only the very best. But the brain surgeons at Amazon haven't printed my "Hunky Dory" David Bowie review, so TCM turns out to be part four. But if they DO print the review, it'll be part five. Or something.

Anyway, onto TCM. Those of you only familiar with the glossy, decent (but fairly redundant) remake are sorely missing out - this is the best horror film EVER made. Better than the Exorcist, better than the Wicker Man.. hell, better than Psycho. Yes, really.

The thing about TCM, it's grainy, raw look gives it a feeling of undeniable realism. There's no "ziiiiiiiing" jump cut effects like there are in EVERY horror film now (as effective as they are), no post-modern dialogue coming from overly beautiful people and, perhaps most surprisingly of all - no gore.

Yes, a massacre it may well be, but Leatherface and co don't give the censors an easy time of snipping parts out - there's very little blood on show. For the sheer brutality of the movie, it's all left to the imagination of what's happening. And that's what sets the Texas Chainsaw Massacre miles and miles apart from its other previously banned, controversial ilk.

This movie is a horror masterpiece, a film that, from the uneasy feel of the opening sequence with the Hitchhiker to the heartstopping chase through the woods, will have you rooted to your seat. You owe it to yourself to own this movie.

There. Done. Well, I would have been, if not for Amazon. So now what? I'll have to review something ELSE I like. Ah.. I know JUST the thing.....

[InvisibleWolfMan]

Hi.

TCM has a significance in my life, weirdly. This fine film was playing for a week straight at the drive-in around the time I was born. My father, having viewed it for maybe 3-4 times during that week already was sitting and enjoying the film when he was called to the hospital (one of the employees had to go and tell him). My mother said he was upset, and made sure he didn't miss the rest of the nights it played either.

Then when I was roughly 9 the sequel came out. At the local video store they had a lifesize cardboard cutout of ol' Leatherface with chainsaw and butcher's apron. Boy, I couldn't get that image out of my mind. Imagine the surprise of one of the staff at the youth summer activity center when they said "Well, what are you drawing?" and I replied "Leatherface. See the blood-stained chainsaw?"

I own every TCM film, save the non-exisitant NEXT GENERATION. Believe me, it DOESN'T EXIST! I have two different copies of the first film, just because of one easter egg.

[The Curmudgeon]

My "TCM Story" is that it was still banned in the UK when I saw it, but a little indy cinema was showing it at, like, midnight one night. So me, my brother and my friend went to see it. I thought it was going to be some hokey dated slasher movie, and it scared the absolute shit out of me. I hate the fact I don't get that "fear factor" from horror films that we used to when we were kids, but this brought it all screaming (lots and lots and lots of screaming) back.

So you were born during The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Man, that is the coolest "birth story" I've ever heard. Can anyone beat THAT?!

[InvisibleWolfMan]

How about "TomKitten" (aka Suri) being born in silence?

By the way, did you know that in Finnish "suri" means "grief?"

[The Curmudgeon]

Tom Cruise is beginning to freak me out. I don't know if it's just press overload and a load of media made up rubbish, but he seems like he's kinda.. well.. insane.

[InvisibleWolfMan]

Well, 4 out of 5 destroyed couches can't be wrong!