Post by trashcanman on Jul 5, 2014 4:30:42 GMT 2
So Robin Thicke is sadly still a thing. He scored big a while back with that video where he and Pharrell creeped all over some sexy/bored-looking naked models and spelled out "Robin Thicke has a big dick" with balloons and shit while disgusting the entire internet with his confusion of sexist and sexy. Now his wife went and left him and in spite of the fact that he didn't beat her half to death a la Chris Brown, the world at large still said "good".
So what does a macho white douchebag with no concept of how to interact properly with a member of the opposite sex aside from what he's seen in shitty R&B videos do to get his ex back in his slimy clutches? He writes her a song. A whole album of them, actually. And then he names is after her. Ick. Scope the video about text-messages where he appears all sad-faced and bloody like she just beat his ass. "What do you mean 'texted apologies aren't enough', baby? Can't you see I luv u lol! )= "
"I wrote a whole album about you."
"I don't care."
Exactly.
Yeah bro, some boring as fuck video of a weak, generic-ass song is totally how I'd go about getting her back. What happened to that big dick all of a sudden?
Madly crazy? Make it stop. "I brought out a bunch of kids and shit for the next video, baby. I know you love kids with their cute little faces and junk. Do you love me now?" Fuck, man. These are the cheapest, most conceptually bankrupt piece of shit videos ever. I'm offended and the songs aren't even aimed at me.
Don't get me wrong, writing about heartbreak and divorce is totally natural and is the foundation of a ton of great albums, but never has it seemed so contrived or pathetic. If you want to know what grown-up feelings about divorce sound like, go buy Dylan's Blood on the Track. In fact, buy it anyways. And fuck you for not already owning it. It's not only what a divorce album sounds like, it's what a bonafide masterpiece sounds like. I'd post "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go" for comparison, but the internet hath expunged it and left in its stead about a million fucking covers, most of which are labeled "Bob Dylan- You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go" for the search engine and then when you click on the link, it's some dick with a guitar playing in front of his webcam.
Anyways, the court of public opinion has judged Mr. Big Dick pretty harshly as a creepy clueless slimebag attempting to manipulate a woman who has repeatedly rebuffed him and can do better in order to get her to do what he wants to satisfy his own tremendous ego. If this music is the best he can do to get her back, I recommend she fuck his best friend, father, ex-girlfriend, and his worst enemy in any order she chooses and send the mid-coitus selfies to him.
So what does a macho white douchebag with no concept of how to interact properly with a member of the opposite sex aside from what he's seen in shitty R&B videos do to get his ex back in his slimy clutches? He writes her a song. A whole album of them, actually. And then he names is after her. Ick. Scope the video about text-messages where he appears all sad-faced and bloody like she just beat his ass. "What do you mean 'texted apologies aren't enough', baby? Can't you see I luv u lol! )= "
"I wrote a whole album about you."
"I don't care."
Exactly.
Yeah bro, some boring as fuck video of a weak, generic-ass song is totally how I'd go about getting her back. What happened to that big dick all of a sudden?
Madly crazy? Make it stop. "I brought out a bunch of kids and shit for the next video, baby. I know you love kids with their cute little faces and junk. Do you love me now?" Fuck, man. These are the cheapest, most conceptually bankrupt piece of shit videos ever. I'm offended and the songs aren't even aimed at me.
Don't get me wrong, writing about heartbreak and divorce is totally natural and is the foundation of a ton of great albums, but never has it seemed so contrived or pathetic. If you want to know what grown-up feelings about divorce sound like, go buy Dylan's Blood on the Track. In fact, buy it anyways. And fuck you for not already owning it. It's not only what a divorce album sounds like, it's what a bonafide masterpiece sounds like. I'd post "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go" for comparison, but the internet hath expunged it and left in its stead about a million fucking covers, most of which are labeled "Bob Dylan- You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go" for the search engine and then when you click on the link, it's some dick with a guitar playing in front of his webcam.
Anyways, the court of public opinion has judged Mr. Big Dick pretty harshly as a creepy clueless slimebag attempting to manipulate a woman who has repeatedly rebuffed him and can do better in order to get her to do what he wants to satisfy his own tremendous ego. If this music is the best he can do to get her back, I recommend she fuck his best friend, father, ex-girlfriend, and his worst enemy in any order she chooses and send the mid-coitus selfies to him.
