Why can't the Four BE Fantastic?

[The Curmudgeon]

So right now the new Fantastic Four movie is in cinema's everywhere, and I haven't seen it myself but I think ISIS beheading videos are getting nicer things said about them. It looks like a complete dud.

We all remember the barrel scraping dross of the 2005 movie and it's arguably worse sequel. You may also have read the Ultimate Fantastic Four books, an attempt to bring Marvel's first family into this century. They sucked. Dunno about you, but I don't want to read a comic book that accepts time travel and inter-dimensional beings, but can't accept that a guy actually has the second name of Von Doom ("Victor Von Damme, for fucks sake).

So what's the problem? Why can't they bring the FF into the 21st century? Is it too silly a concept? When the highest grossing movie of last year had a fucking talking raccoon with a machine gun, I don't think so. The story is there. The characters are there. Hell, one of the top three greatest comic book villains of ALL TIME is there.

So why can't they do it?

[trashcanman]

Because they neither care about or understand the source material. What they know is that comic book properties (especially Marvel ones) are a license to print money in movie theaters. If they don't keep cranking movies out they lose the rights, and so they crank them out without a single fuck to give about whether it's good because if they market it, they will come. Funny thing, I actually liked the first two movies. They would have been great if they could have gotten Doom right. But the problem is that when the villain is lame, the movie is lame. Doom should be the first fucking thing you figure out before you make a FF film.