The fucking VMA's.

[The Curmudgeon]

I hate award shows. Always have. Whether it's fawning billionaires in the Oscars or worthless, corporate snooze-fests like the Brit Awards, I seldom watch them, usually because the things I like (otherwise known as The Thing That Should Have Won, God Damn It) never get a look in.

I wouldn't have watched it anyway, but thank God I didn't stumble across this year's Video Music Awards, because my television may not have survived. I didn't even need to watch it thanks to the relentless coverage, blogs, articles and threads it generated on Facebook.

5 names were everywhere this year, which made me think that no-one else was even fucking there.

Kanye
Nicki Minaj
Taylor Swift
Miley Cyrus
Justin Bieber

That was it. Everyone and everything else wasn't even acknowledged. Take a look at that list. Kanye is an entertaining lunatic with some good songs, Taylor Swift is, well, Taylor Swift. She's as bubblegum as it gets, but when she's the benchmark for your music award show your music award show has already sunk without trace. Nicki Minaj? Miley Cyrus? Fucking BIEBER? Where is the talent??

It's pop music, I get that. I'm not asking for Bowie to be there. But has the bar been lowered so much that these parasites are now what modern music fans are being told is the standard? Not to flog a dead horse, but at one time a pop music award show would have had Prince against Madonna against Michael Jackson. Let that sink in. Now we have these idiots.

But what's really grating is that actual reputable magazines and websites were reporting on this as it was if news and if these creatures were doing anything of any importance, instead of acting like spoiled, awful cunts arguing over who had the better song written for them. Rolling Stone reporting on a "beef" between Miley and Minaj? Bieber broke down in tears during a performance? Miley shock released a new album? Why are we even treating any of this shit seriously?

[trashcanman]

We are not. My wife was watching it last night and I can tell you for sure that the Minaj/Miley thing was staged as fuck. Minaj just finished thanking her pastor mere minutes after a performance that was pretty much a bunch of people on stage dressed like extras in The Lion King feigning masturbation and oral sex for four minutes or so and suddenly out of nowhere recites some awkward nonsense of some bitch talking about her to the media. And then she immediately names Miley just in case anybody didn't get it and Cyrus is literally standing across from her in the center of the place with a mic in her hand and an instantaneous response about how the media twisted her words or some shit. Cut to commercial. Seeing that Cyrus was hosting the show and constantly changing in the stupidest outfits you couldn't even imagine (is that not GaGa's thing?) and they were going to commercial, I can't think of any reason she would have been anywhere but backstage getting a costume change or some blow or whatever. Does the host usually stand in the center of the arena with a mic in their hand when other people are giving speeches or performing? I call bullshit.

Bieber had this insane looking Flock of Seagulls haircut, but when my wife went to bed I switched the channel ASAP. I was kind of curious about this insane speech West supposedly gave where he apparently rambled a bunch of gibberish and then announced he was running for president, but the very idea that this dude is getting a Lifetime Achievement Award after a career of all of ten years where most people can name exactly two of his songs and he's best known for being an unbelievable jackass was too much. If you are receiving an award named after Michael Jackson, you should live up to that name. Just saying.

Anyways, yeah. Pure unadulterated, masturbatory garbage and celeb trash. Just what you'd expect from an MTV awards show in this social climate.

[Ben]

Not that I put any stock in the rock portion of these things (because it's always a bunch of pop bands who play guitar once in awhile), but I heard this year the rock album of the year was announced before the damn thing even went on air. THAT's how much we're supposed to care about Miley and Minaj- we're supposed to pretend entire genres of music don't even exist so that Kanye can drunkenly ramble for ten minutes and those two aforementioned bimbos can publicly argue about whose softcore music video was better.

It blows my mind that people actually care about this shit.