Post by trashcanman on May 31, 2016 5:51:05 GMT 2
..that the X-Men need to come home? Apocalypse was just terrible. One of the worst written superhero films ever. I was reading Seanbaby's last article where he lambasted the X-Men franchise as something that is not worthy of nostalgia in part by pointing out how much the films hate their source material. And you know what? He's fucking right. The second film is the only movie in the entire franchise that even comes close to doing the franchise justice. The rest are passable at best. And in spite of Apocalypse's obnoxious wink wink observation (that they already did in Days of Future Past), the third film is no longer the worst one in the series. The only way I'm going to see another one of these in theaters is if they let Marvel take over the franchise like Sony is doing with Spider-Man.
[Spoilers from here on out]
How hard is it to develop your characters? I mean, just look at that fucking plot! Storm (who was cast beautifully and then thoroughly wasted) spends the last half of the movie pretty much just staring at what everyone else is doing, and Psylocke's entire role is pretty much as a cosplay decoration. Olivia Munn gave an interview where she said she turned down the role of leading lady in Deadpool because she didn't want to play "a girlfriend". Well, girlfriend or not, Vanessa was a hell of lot better developed and cool than Psylocke was. I don't think she gets this whole "feminism" thing. Playing a zero-dimensioned eye candy character who happens to have superpowers or whatever is not more empowering than an awesome, lovable, and badass character who happens to be the object of the hero's affection.
How much more fucking time needs to be spent on the Magneto/Xavier bromance? We've sat through that same conversation about their opposing philosophies in every single movie. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. We get it; can you assume for one minute that anybody in that theater has seen at least one X-Men movie? You can stop justifying Magneto being pissed. Also, stop switching him to hero and then villain and back again just for the hell of it. And that one scene where Beast narrates everything he's doing in shouted single lines where he ends up face to face with Mystique and says "I've got you!" when we can clearly see he has her was comically terrible.
And why the hell is Mystique the leader of the X-Men? Ever. I don't give a damn about the Hunger Games and Jennifer Lawrence is the female Keanu Reeves. No personality at all, but she somehow draws a massive crowd. Rebecca Romjin was better in every single facet. But god, that writing. Just a cringe factory of cliches, plot holes, and winky nods. Oh noes, Nightcrawler is trapped inside the chain link fence of doom! With no way out. No way at all. He has no ability that would allow him to escape. Or, you know, avoid being thrown in there in the first place. But he can teleport outside of the entire building without seeing where he's going after J-Law sets him free, so that's cool. How can this be the same guy who directed his amazing opening scene in X2?
Seriously, man, the only things that gave me even a little "I don't hate this" was Wolverine's unexpected (but telegraphed) rampage and Sansa Grey going full Phoenix. Quicksilver was literally the only character with any personality and his stuff was more comical than anything else. But at least it was kind meant to be. But it goes back to knowing jack shit about the characters. Since when is Quicksilver just a comic relief character? Who can travel at the speed of light? Really, he'd be more effective just by himself than the entire rest of the cast, he's so far above them on the powers scale. Anyways I'm going to stop now. There's just too much.
TLDR: terrible movie is terrible. Wish I didn't watch. J-law is crap.
[Spoilers from here on out]
How hard is it to develop your characters? I mean, just look at that fucking plot! Storm (who was cast beautifully and then thoroughly wasted) spends the last half of the movie pretty much just staring at what everyone else is doing, and Psylocke's entire role is pretty much as a cosplay decoration. Olivia Munn gave an interview where she said she turned down the role of leading lady in Deadpool because she didn't want to play "a girlfriend". Well, girlfriend or not, Vanessa was a hell of lot better developed and cool than Psylocke was. I don't think she gets this whole "feminism" thing. Playing a zero-dimensioned eye candy character who happens to have superpowers or whatever is not more empowering than an awesome, lovable, and badass character who happens to be the object of the hero's affection.
How much more fucking time needs to be spent on the Magneto/Xavier bromance? We've sat through that same conversation about their opposing philosophies in every single movie. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. We get it; can you assume for one minute that anybody in that theater has seen at least one X-Men movie? You can stop justifying Magneto being pissed. Also, stop switching him to hero and then villain and back again just for the hell of it. And that one scene where Beast narrates everything he's doing in shouted single lines where he ends up face to face with Mystique and says "I've got you!" when we can clearly see he has her was comically terrible.
And why the hell is Mystique the leader of the X-Men? Ever. I don't give a damn about the Hunger Games and Jennifer Lawrence is the female Keanu Reeves. No personality at all, but she somehow draws a massive crowd. Rebecca Romjin was better in every single facet. But god, that writing. Just a cringe factory of cliches, plot holes, and winky nods. Oh noes, Nightcrawler is trapped inside the chain link fence of doom! With no way out. No way at all. He has no ability that would allow him to escape. Or, you know, avoid being thrown in there in the first place. But he can teleport outside of the entire building without seeing where he's going after J-Law sets him free, so that's cool. How can this be the same guy who directed his amazing opening scene in X2?
Seriously, man, the only things that gave me even a little "I don't hate this" was Wolverine's unexpected (but telegraphed) rampage and Sansa Grey going full Phoenix. Quicksilver was literally the only character with any personality and his stuff was more comical than anything else. But at least it was kind meant to be. But it goes back to knowing jack shit about the characters. Since when is Quicksilver just a comic relief character? Who can travel at the speed of light? Really, he'd be more effective just by himself than the entire rest of the cast, he's so far above them on the powers scale. Anyways I'm going to stop now. There's just too much.
TLDR: terrible movie is terrible. Wish I didn't watch. J-law is crap.
