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Post by The Curmudgeon on May 3, 2007 19:33:53 GMT 2
 Music for SCUM.It's not often that you hate a record after the first few seconds, but that's exactly what happened here. Not for the music itself though.. let me explain. First of all - the actual music is AWFUL. Tinny, flat sound with as much depth, charm and passion as a Happy Meal. Dull, formulaic drivel that consists of cover after cover - take a famous song, strap a instantly dated techno beat behind it, get token blonde to sing the vocals and voila - one super-suck album. As the official Room 101 of Amazon, The Curmudgeon has access to many exclusive things. And so here is an actual excert from the recording studio where this travesty was recorded... "What's that? Oh - 'Truly Madly Deeply' - that's a song that people who don't actually like music will know - cover that. Oh, and Kim Wilde's 'Kids In America' - that's got a good chorus, hasn't it. Let's cover that too. 'How Do You Do' by Roxette. What the hell - cover it. We really are making a worthwhile and quality album here, aren't we? Pass the cocaine." But like I said - it's not the actual music that is so abhorrent - its the image it brings when you first hear it, of the actual low-life, teenage single mother SCUM who will buy it. You WILL hear this coming from some empty-headed yo-yo-knickered harlot's I-Pod. You WILL hear this coming from some clapped-out car full of thick kids in baseball caps. You WILL hate absolutely everyone who listens to this. People who listen to this don't even know what music IS. Don't be one of them. See Cascada: Everytime We Touch
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK0GmiSMNGI |
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Post by trashcanman on May 3, 2007 19:38:12 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
I have a coworker (clueless single mother, by the way) who puts this song on every single cd that she burns. Sometimes she even puts both versions of the song on the same cd. Consecutively. I'm hoping that by not throttling this woman every time she plays this song I'll save up enough cosmic brownie points that God may show us his infinite mercy and wipe bad techno music (is there any other kind?) off the face of this earth. Make the generic synthesizers stop. Dear God, MAKE THEM STOOOOOOOP!!!!!
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Post by Norman Bates on May 10, 2007 19:48:03 GMT 2
I like a lot of dance music - in fact, forget that last line, I like a lot of music, and to me this doesn't even qualify as MUSIC, let alone dance music. It really is aimed at the cess-pool of humanity. Terrible... just terrible.
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Post by E Davis on May 15, 2007 21:47:50 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
I don't know which is more senseless... every single review you've ever pained yourself to write or the vocabulary you use in them. Quoting you for example, the only `scum with an empty head' is yourself. Not only does every review say almost nothing (yes, there is the extremely rare cases that it does) about the item, you cram it full of utterly horrid self rants that drop faster than your pudgy fingers onto the keyboard in front of you. Obviously you live a very simple and sad life, you are probably overweight and ugly, turning to the internet for the most attention you have received in your entire life. You hate society; turning to point loathing fingers at overweight women, single mothers, and all women in general. You must be sexist because all women are repulsed by you. Luckily you have the `idiotic' MTV so you can watch Jessica Simpson prance around in skimpy outfits while you use hand for the only fun you have ever enjoyed in your life. You think so highly of yourself clearly thinking you are the only person who isn't scum in this world when in reality you are the biggest and saddest scum of them all. I truly feel sorry for you and anyone who actually thinks your pathetic reviews add anything of substance to the item you are reviewing.
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Post by InvisibleWolfMan on May 16, 2007 17:12:00 GMT 2
Welcome to the site, E Davis !  I don't know which is more senseless... every single review you've ever pained yourself to read and write a reply to or the vocabulary you use in them. Quoting you for example, the only `probably overweight and ugly' one is yourself. Not only does your reply say almost nothing (yes, there is the extremely rare cases that it does) about the review, you cram it full of utterly horrid self rants that drop faster than your grimy fingers onto the keyboard in front of you. Obviously you'll live a very simple and sad life, you are probably even more overweight and horrifingly ugly than imaginable, turning to the internet for the most attention you have received in your entire life until you realize you haven't paid your IP provider in 6 months and therefore have to wait in line at the library. You hate those crusaders that hate SCUM society; as if you think your statement here was 'holier than thou' might I ask you if you've ever viewed sexual pictures of overweight women? Single mothers, and all women in general have a varying degree of weight and I'm sure you are just as guilty as anyone else you point the finger at of perfering someone 'slim' or 'toothpick heavy' as I perfer to call those crudely made stick figures in the glamor magazines these days. You must be even MORE sexist because you make statements like 'all women are repulsed by you' without knowing the person you're refering to. Luckily the `idiotic' MTV overplays anything starring Jessica Simpson while she prances around in skimpy outfits. Too bad the doctors fixed the part where you might have had a spot of fun during it. You clearly think so highly of yourself, that you have the upper hand by saying that The Curmudgeon is 'the biggest and saddest scum of them all.' I truly feel sorry for you and anyone who actually thinks your pathetic reply added anything of substance to the review to which you are replying. In short: MY NAME IS MOK, THANKS ALOT!  |
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Post by trashcanman on May 18, 2007 1:07:06 GMT 2
How could one add something of substance to the item they were reviewing? I'd love nothing more than to change the substance of this sort of garbage and add to it, perhaps making it suck less in the process, but I didn't realize a review could do that. God, man, these people try so hard to sound eloquent that they just end up typing random words and then pray nobody bothers to read them.
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Post by InvisibleWolfMan on May 18, 2007 15:19:42 GMT 2
Trashcanman, I think your question should be: How can ANYone add something of substance to this item when they are reviewing it?  Best Regards, InvisibleWolfMan  |
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Post by EDavis on May 31, 2007 21:55:29 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
Three years, wow, congrats on finding someone as pessimistic as you are. Oh, by the way, I've heard as much as Cascada's album as you have; the only single "Everytime We Touch".
My musical taste has nothing to do with the fact that you are a down right idiot. My superior? Haha, thanks for the laugh. Now why don't you go back to your corner and continue eating your bile since you are so full of yourself.
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Post by hackersanonymous on May 31, 2007 22:40:45 GMT 2
I'm afraid there's no room in the corner - it's already occupied by "E" wearing his dunce's hat.
Toodles!
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Post by Ian Keeper on Jun 19, 2007 19:10:49 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
I think you are awesome. Well said, E. Davis.
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Post by TY Arthur on Jul 23, 2007 16:57:57 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
I know this post actually violates everything The Curmudgeon stands for (sorry man), but I've got to do it.
The Curmudgeon is flat out awesome. He provides a valuable service to Internet goers the world over, and makes Amazon a way better place than it would be without him. Some people write reviews just of the stuff they like because they want others to know how great book A or movie B is, others write only glowing 5 star reviews of things they love because they are deathly afraid of the oh-so-terrible "Not Helpful" button, and some are even brave enough to mix it up and review stuff that wasn't so awesome to warn off those who might make a bad mistake with their hard earned moolah.
Then there is The Curmudgeon.
This man makes it his goal, nay, his very mission in life to bash the living hell out of everything that sucks. If something is terrible beyond human comprehension, The Curmudgeon will call foul and bring it to everyone else's attention, often hilariously so. Having a bad day? Read The Curmudgeon's reviews for a while, and suddenly you realize that no matter how much your job bites, it pales in comparison to the sheer horror of being forced to watch Shaq in "Steel". Feeling inadequate and like you have no purpose in life? Read his review of Kevin Federline's "Playing with Fire" and bask in the glorious knowledge that it's impossible to sink as low as Kevin.
And then the icing on the super tasty cake that is The Curmudgeon - people who take offense and get all huffy that something they liked got sniped, or feel that all the negativity is unwarranted, or blah blah blah. These people make life worth living, because we can all point and laugh at their nonsense.
Here's to you Curmudgeon, and here's to hoping we can make babies together one day that will be even more miserly than we are.
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Jul 25, 2007 21:12:39 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
Best.
Comment.
Ever.
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Post by Jim L on Jul 25, 2007 21:14:50 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
I so find funny the big clichés you brought in your product review, the music categorized with the single woman and the young dudes wearing baseball caps, funniest examples.
You are obviously a hatter, and try to copy the each day heard classification of music artists, and of their respective listeners. Like if we already know in advantance who will in noway buy a certain cd, or no chances he/she wouldn't buy it. That reminds me the crap stuff at tv they say about random products, that specific category of people would fall in love with it as it's directed at them, but here, in a hateful tone towards the product in question.
You are not at all the kind of objective reviewer, must realize it, you congratulate the dude who said you aren't "omg I so love it I give 5 stars as I fear those haters would mass give 1 star" kind of guy and more likely the one who has guts to put his feelings on, BUT, sorry, you are obviously the EXACT kind of person that mass give 1 star, aka the eternal haters group, in opposition to eternal lovers. And eternal haters donot have at ALL more respect or consideration in my eyes than eternal lovers, they have less, as only thing they know is saying "ahhh that's crap I hate it I want to burn this cd because of *insert reason(s) here*".
You are not an objective reviewer, that's all. Period!
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Post by hackersanonymous on Jul 27, 2007 0:17:13 GMT 2
You are obviously a hatter, and try to copy the each day heard classification of music artists, and of their respective listeners. Like if we already know in advantance who will in noway buy a certain cd Noway! Have you been given some advantance infomraton abot the Curmudgeon's taste in hed gear?! Toodles! |
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Jul 27, 2007 8:02:49 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
I'm obviously a "hatter?" But I've never even BEEN to a tea party.
I want you to do something for me; I want you to re-read that feeble, non-sensical ramble you just posted at me Jim L. And then I want you to write it AGAIN, but this time.. I dunno.. have a POINT. And at least try and make it intelligble. It's like reading the words of a monkey clattering at a keyboard.
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