Post by The Curmudgeon on Aug 19, 2007 17:53:55 GMT 2
Horse-Face from Destiny's Child attempts "sexy." Fails.
Such is Beyonce's near omnipotence around MTV-land with the rate she knocks out singles it would be easy to forget she was ever in Destiny's Child. But while the third, pointless one has the sense to stay at home and count her money, here comes the OTHER, other "girl who's not Beyone," Kelly Rowland and, brace yourself folks - she's going for "cool" and "sexy" this time around - and quite magnificently doesn't achieve either.
So, how DOES Kelly try for "sexy", then? Well, not content with shaking her body like a dog fresh from its bath, she also slurs her speech. You know, like about a million other stupid rappers who insist on doing things like that. So instead of saying, "Y'all didn't think that I could bump like this" (whatever that means), she now says "y'all didn't think that I could bump like theeeeeeeeze." FOR NO REASON AT ALL.
You know, I remember some of those horrific Destiny's Child songs, and not once did she speak like that. So why, then, has she adopted this strange way of speaking? Ah, that'll be the same reason she's got Eve rapping in this song as well - to try and be "cool". It takes more than a copied, fake accent and a phoned-in rap from Eve to make you cool, Kelly. Oh, and word of advice - if you ARE trying to look sexy in your new video, it's not a good idea to stand next to the smokin' hot Eve, who makes you look about as appealing as being infected with AIDS.
All in all? Another boring, by the book slice of R&B dross from a dull artist desperate to escape her former band mate's enormous shadow, but lacking the songs, the stage presence and the looks to do it.
Why the long face, Kelly? Guess we know now..
See Kelly Rowland: Like This
www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-p-hW2zZ1o
