Have you ever seen anything by The Asylum?

[The Curmudgeon]

You know, part of me should really hate The Asylum. For those unfamiliar with them, they're a group of b-movie hacks who cash in on the success of mainstream blockbuster movies by releasing almost identikit movies of their more famous namesake.

Like, Snakes on a Plane was released at the same times as, ahem, Snakes on a Train. Guess what that's about?

And then War of the Worlds was released by Spielberg, and The Asylum released their OWN version straight to video on the same day.

Cue Transformers - and again, Asylum responded with Transmorphers.

Oh, and if you're ever in any doubt as to what Alien vs Hunter could be based on..



And then check the poster for the awesomely titled "Vampires vs Zombies" (don't you just love these deep, insightful titles?) Does it look familiar?



So, yeah - they're hacks of the highest order. And yet, I can't help but feel a sort of grudging respect for Asylum. Not for their films, but their blase attitude. They freely admit that they released War of the Worlds to cash in on the Tom Cruise vehicle, but commented that, "that movie cost $100 million dollars to make. Ours cost $1 million. Are you going to be 100 times more entertained with Spielberg's movie?"

So here's the question; has anyone actually ever seen any of these movies? I've seen them in video stores and ebay all the time, but never actually plucked up the courage to buy them. Has anyone?

[trashcanman]

"Vampires vs. Zombies". One of the worst things I've ever watched. I wasn't looking for Shakespeare, but they didn't even deliver on the title premise. Basically, they based it on one of my very favorite horror stories, "Carmilla", which was strike one. They did such an awful job hacking up that story I wanted to harm them just for that. Hammer's "The Vampire Lovers" on the other hand is a brilliant adaptation and would get my vote for most underrated vampire flick ever. But anyways, Carmilla picks up a hot hitchhiker or something, they drive around doing the lesbian thang (but not nearly enough to make this trash wourth sitting through, mind you) and killing folk. Every once in a while you see a random scene of of zombies (worst makeup ever) killing some folk. Then at the end -just when you've forgotten there even were zombies- they rush in and rip the vampire girls to pieces without so much as a fight. The end. The whole thing is shot like a really lame steadycam home movie. Do not watch this or anything else by these guys, they make Uwe Boll look like Kubrick.