Post by The Curmudgeon on Dec 4, 2008 0:55:27 GMT 2
Vile School Musical.
I suppose, in hindsight, you really can't blame Simon Cowell. I mean, what do you do when the winner of your talent show (that would be Britain's Got Talent) ISN'T a singer - but a dancer? This is Simon Cowell we're talking about here, remember; a monster hit TV show is nothing without a token record to stink up the charts after-wards.
And whilst Cowell re-released the song that George Sampson danced to (Mint Royale's previously ignored dance mix of Singing in the Rain - now a number one hit because it appeared on this show. A sure-fire sign that Cowell basically tells his ignorant viewers WHAT to buy and they'll buy it), he was left with the head-scratching problem of how else he could milk this little Sampson creep before his 15 minutes were up.
And lo - this terrible single was born. Because not only does George dance in the video, in a way that a million other kids in music videos do, oh no - he RAPS now, too. And if you hear a more grating, hateful thing this year, you have full permission to murder whoever is responsible. It'll be doing a public service.
So yes, it's an obvious attempt to cash in on High School Musical, but with one fatal flaw, not taking into consideration the fact George can't sing or rap to save his life. No, the REAL problem here? George Sampson is an obnoxious snot, with a face you would never tire of pouring boiling water over. That he can't rap is obvious, but is it really possible for one human being to be this loathsome?
As for the music itself, there's 2 tracks of equal "worth" here (it's a double A-side, a laughably optimistic notion that he would actually get a full ALBUM on the back of this), and both should be banned from ever being played in a public place. "Headz Up" (ooh, spelling things with a "Z" makes you edgy.. about 18 years ago) is a dire piece of "hip-hop" so white, so lacking in any energy or passion and so obviously created by boardroom executives you can almost smell the cappuccino. And "Get Up On the Dancefloor" is littered with samples from about ten other rap and dance tracks that are about a zillion times too good to be tacked in alongside this garbage.
It's a desperate move by Cowell to fleece some more money from his easily led British public, and the join is all too visible here. Sampson, quite clearly, can do nothing but dance, and hiding his embarrassingly weedy vocals behind all the samples and female singers in the world won't hide that fact.
Want the good news, though? This single absolutely TANKED, meaning that either the British public aren't THAT easily fooled or that Sampson's star is already beginning to fade. Either way, that news is certainly something to sing - and dance - about.
See George Sampson: Headz Up
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=hIGriaRJ8_E
