Remakes. How I hate them.

[trashcanman]

First off, here's a site with a list of SOME upcoming remakes.

www.themovieinsider.com/classic-remakeville/?&sort=&r=&limit=100

Staggered?

Throw another hateful log on that fire: moviesblog.mtv.com/2008/12/04/universal-pushing-for-remake-of-john-carpenters-they-live/

And I think all true fans of sci-fi shall steer well clear of Keanu Reeve's "The Day the Earth Stood Still".
"Hey, you know what the original film was lacking?" (NOTHING!) "Lots of big explosions!"
Take this Klaatu!
BOOM!
[audience claps hands and giggles like a bunch of infants]

Who's directing that shit, anyway, Michael Bay?

And seriously, who is going to take over for the Ramones in "Rock n' Roll High School"? And the first motherfucker who says The Jonas Brothers or Good Charlotte gets shot.

I don't know how many of you have seen "Oldboy", but you've missed out on perhaps the most insane "owned" moment in cinema history if you have not. Well, Will Smith an Speilburg are planning on remaking that modern Korean classic. Only and ONLY if Smith eats a live octopus onscreen will I not behead him for this.

I know we rant about this often enough, but now just seems a good time to refresh our anger at Hollywood's sickening lack of creativity. If only I had the powers of The Scarlet Witch.

"No. More. Remakes."

[The Curmudgeon]

It's no secret I've been saying the same sort of thing for months now - the 00's are officially the decade of No New Ideas.

I couldn't even bring myself to look at the entire list of remakes there, Trashy - it just makes me feel fucking sick. Do we REALLY need a remake of Robocop? Or, Jesus Christ - Short Circuit?!

Some films will never be able to capture the same spirit of the original - Rock N Roll High School and They Live are two perfect examples. Hollywood is in a dire, dire situation right now - and plundering the archives (if the 80s can even be considered "archives") is NOT the solution.

Gaaaah.. I need a lie down.

[trashcanman]

Best GIF ever. THe last batch really set me off. I ranted on Amazon (even ripping into a few pals) after seeing "REC" (remade as "Quarantine") and realizing that the only reason to remake such a film is to steal it wholesale and release it in the largest market in the world without giving the original filmmakers a penny of the cash or an itoa of the credit. Once the theater gross and DVD sales are all tallied, then and only then will they release the original work as a mere straight-to-DVD footnote. This is pure American corporate EVIL. Will foreign filmmakers even bother bringing their passion to bear in the future knowing that any attention they get at home will just be squashed and their film raped if they wish to have it released for American consumption? I will never pay to watch another remake unless it is by a filmmaker I know will do it justice and even then it will be grudgingly. BUY THE ORIGINAL INSTEAD. Maybe if people stop showing up and DVD's of the orignal work spike in sales, they will get the picture. It won't happen, but I'm doing my part as beat I can anyway.

[Ben]

Red Dawn? The Dirty Dozen? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your list better be wrong Trashcanman. It better be WRONG.

[The Curmudgeon]

You know what's really surprised me? That someone hasn't tried to remake The Wizard of Oz. And what's more surprising is the fact I would actually be interested to see it.

Picture it - not a musical, but in the same style as LOTR (without the end result of having me want to hang myself in boredom). If studio execs are looking for an "epic" franchise like Narnia, look no further than that one.

[trashcanman]

There are actually two versions of "Alice In Wonderland" being made right now. One features Sarah Michelle Gellar as Alice, and the other is Tim Burton with Depp donning the mad hat. I'm actually interested in both. Oz could be done well. Really well. I'd recommend Guilliermo Del Toro as the director. It would rock. I'm not entiely anti-remake, but it needs to be done really well and that is not what is happening here. I just finished destroying "The Strangers" on Amazon. I got it fomr Netflix on accident and should never have watched it. The tagline of my review was "horror cliche soup in a manure bowl" or something like that.

[The Curmudgeon]

Make that three versions of Alice in Wonderland, Trashy. The two you've mentioned sound interesting (especially the Depp version - I mean, isn't Gellar far too old to play Alice?)

But THIS is the movie I'm more interested in.



A haunted writer in an isolated castle is tormented by sleepless nights and visions of a girl named Alice. He finds himself becoming a symptom of his own invention.

“Now all my nightmares know my name.”

He is Lewis Carroll. Terrified of what waits for him each night

Marilyn Manson as a tortured Lewis Carroll? Fucking SOLD.