Post by The Curmudgeon on Feb 13, 2009 4:12:23 GMT 2
Old band - new suck.
What is it with people this century? What is it with our reliance on things of the past? If we're not remaking movies (badly), we're remaking TV shows (badly). If we're not sampling or covering songs, we're financing increasing numbers of defunct bands and groups to make comebacks. THIS MUST END.
And it's not just you American's to blame, we Brits are as bad as you lot. And we can place the blame entirely on Take That, British boyband royalty that they were, who disbanded and eventually sunk into oblivion (although, it must be said, Mark Owen did release some pretty decent solo material that was cruelly ignored). Ten years later, however, and the news of their comeback had the UK in a bit of a whirl - and with good reason. This was no band relying on nostalgia alone; they released material that was night and day superior to their back catalogue.
That's the good side of the coin. The bad side is that, after Take That, every God-awful boy/girl band in the UK decided to try their luck, and when you have woeful dross like Five and East 17 trying to squeeze back into the public eye.. well.. it all got a little embarrassing.
But that's nothing compared to this. New Kids on the Block?! Really? But they were a joke THEN, never mind now. "Hangin' Tough" and "The Right Stuff" remain some of the most comically appalling hit records of all time. Are we SO starved of real pop music that we have to start pushing these five idiots back together again?
There was an episode of Bands Reunited on V-H1 in 1994 that failed to get the band back together (they couldn't even get them in the same room). So obviously the lure of some little TV show and a one-off gig wasn't enough, but hey presto; bring in the big producers, throw in hot properties like Ne-Yo and whaddya know? Suddenly they're best friends again. Ugh.
So instead of a bunch of kids singing unconvincing songs, we now have a bunch of grown-ups singing unconvincing songs, this time about "being up in the club" and trying vainly to appeal to both the new R&B brainwashed teens and the sad 35 year old mothers who haven't bought an album since 1994. Both "Single" and "Summertime" sound like any other MOR slush that seems to dominate the radio, and could have been performed by an army of other acts, all equally bland and forgettable.
The Curmudgeon has no problem with bands getting back together for the right reasons. But let's be honest here - NKOTB aren't a "band" - they're a bunch of singers who get given songs and have to practice making meaningful hand gestures at the camera. And let's also be honest here - the only reason these guys are back together isn't the love of the music or even the love of each other - they are back, plain and simple, for MONEY.
One of the guys was in real estate, one had appeared on about 10 reality shows (the last was "Trust Me.. I'm a Holiday Rep") and released the nail-chewingly grim sounding "Jordan sings the Hits of New Kids" CD. Danny Wood has appeared in The Curmudgeon's official Room 101 of Amazon before, after taking part in the tragic "Let's Make a Boyband" reality show that resulted in "Upper Street" releasing one single before disbanding. Only Donnie Wahlberg, decent screen actor that he is, has no real financial reason to be here. Oh well, maybe Saw VI is a year or two away.
Bands getting back together again? Maybe. Bands that were terrible - honest to God TERRIBLE - getting back together again and coating over their crapness with a thick R&B sheen?
People - this really, seriously, needs to stop.
