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Post by trashcanman on Aug 2, 2009 20:29:01 GMT 2
His big success is writing unlistenable garbage for Justin Timberlake to record? Boy bands are your idea of talent now? All of those singers are flash-in-the-pan GARBAGE except for Madonna who is way past her prime GARBAGE. Not a legitimate artist among that list. Just disposable crap that people will be laughing at within the decade. PUSSYCAT DOLLS!? That's talent now? This shit is like bragging you wrote "Ice Ice Baby". Seriously, if talent is registered in record sales then I guess we should be listening to every American Idol alum's albums and crap like 50 Cent because that's obviously where all the talent is.
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Aug 5, 2009 3:02:38 GMT 2
In no way, shape or form is Justin Timberlake "flash in the pan." Doesn't matter if you like the guy or not, he's been having hit records since 1997, man. Throwaway boyband fluff they may have been, but he's head and shoulders over the rest of that group ("flash in the pan" can be thrown at them). He's pretty much the perfect modern pop star - good looks, can sing, can dance, can be seen on Nikelodeon one minute, looking cool in 50 Cent videos the next and then goofing off in guest spots on The Lonely Island songs - and in person can be pretty funny, too. Anyone who watched his MTV Awards spots would admit that.
I actually genuinely like JT. I thought his first solo singles were great, and Cry Me a River's pretty much as good as polished pop r&b gets, and as soon as I heard "Like I Love You" I knew I would buy it the day it came out. Hell, the notoriously elitist, snobbish "Cool List" from NME voted JT #1 a few years back. Like him or not, respect him or not - JT will be here for a long time to come. And bravo to that, says I.
Anyway, what was this about? Oh yeah, Timbaland. Well, like I said, I don't have a massive hard-on for the guy or anything, but one look at Wikipedia at the Death Star sized hole he's made in modern pop music shows the guy a) knows what makes hits and b) sure knows how to make them. I think that's something we can both agree on.
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Post by trashcanman on Aug 5, 2009 3:31:18 GMT 2
Shit, C, he's just about gone already! He will not survive the coming backlash that will wipe this inane and redundant garbage out like it did in the hair band days.  That guy looks cool?  White man with cornrows? Looking cool in a 50 Cent video? How does anybody cool wind up in a 50 Cent video? And appearing on Nickelodeon means you are making music for FUCKING CHILDREN!! It's literally the entire premise of the network. No, no, no this doesn't add up. Timbaland knows how to make hits. But hits are specifically designed for the people you refer to as "The Scum". Talent has nothing to do with it. And while I'm on the topic what makes a hit really? ou know very well it isn't quality. have you ever heard a song that was a hit that wasn't all over radio and tv? People seem to assume that hits are chosen by us. They are wrong. Corporations decide what song to throw money at and that song gets played around the clock until you buy it. When you buy it, they throw money at the next song by the same artist. you hear it over and over until you compulsively buy it. That's how it works. Pure manipulation. There are no current radio hits that sold before they were on the radio. There are no songs not on the radio that are selling enough to be called hits. Hits means people being told what to like and listening because they have no clue what else to do. I don't give a fuck about hits, that's simply financial. I want CLASSICS. |
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Post by trashcanman on Aug 5, 2009 3:31:33 GMT 2
Shit, C, he's just about gone already! He will not survive the coming backlash that will wipe this inane and redundant garbage out like it did in the hair band days. That guy looks cool? White man with cornrows? Looking cool in a 50 Cent video? How does anybody cool wind up in a 50 Cent video? And appearing on Nickelodeon means you are making music for FUCKING CHILDREN!! It's literally the entire premise of the network. No, no, no this doesn't add up. Timbaland knows how to make hits. But hits are specifically designed for the people you refer to as "The Scum". Talent has nothing to do with it. And while I'm on the topic what makes a hit really? ou know very well it isn't quality. have you ever heard a song that was a hit that wasn't all over radio and tv? People seem to assume that hits are chosen by us. They are wrong. Corporations decide what song to throw money at and that song gets played around the clock until you buy it. When you buy it, they throw money at the next song by the same artist. you hear it over and over until you compulsively buy it. That's how it works. Pure manipulation. There are no current radio hits that sold before they were on the radio. There are no songs not on the radio that are selling enough to be called hits. Hits means people being told what to like and listening because they have no clue what else to do. I don't give a fuck about hits, that's simply financial. I want CLASSICS. |
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Aug 5, 2009 4:11:02 GMT 2
Heard you the first time, Trashy.
What I'm saying with JT is the guy has cross-pver potential, meaning little girls can scream at his concerts but he's equally at home in a video with Snoop Dogg telling Cupid not to fuck with him (and come on, you didn't like THAT song? It was damn near irresistable!)
And no, he's not about done - he's got two songs just out the top 10 in the UK (one with Ciara, one with T.I), but yes - those cornrows are unforgivable. But come on Trashy - you didn't dig "Sexyback?" I think I already know the answer to that.
And do I have any problem with a guy partly responsible for songs like Jay Z's Big Pimpin and Dirt Off Your Shoulder? Missy Elliot's Get Ur Freak On? Alliyah's More Than a Woman? Rihanna's Rehab? Kanye West's Stronger? And that's not going into the previously mentioned JT and Nelly Furtardo songs. I don't have a problem with any of those songs at all. Hits that deserved to BE hits.
And yes, I agree with you about commercial radio - but that's the way its always been. Remember that Motown designed records on a purely commercial basis, they just happened to be releasing some of the greatest songs ever written, and they were all over radio stations before they were hits. I mean, if a song ISN'T on the radio how's anyone going to hear it?
What about guys like Burt Bacharach? His music DOMINATED the radio - and the charts after it, and a collection of sweeter, better written pop songs you will never find. Ditto Elton John, Michael Jackson.. Am I comparing Timbaland's work to theirs? No. But do I agree Timbaland is a "talentless scrub?" No, no and no. He's produced a lot of shit (this single that got us talking about him in the first place, for one) but he's also produced, written and recorded some great pieces of music.
I have always, ALWAYS, been a lover of pop music - GOOD pop music. That's why I've never reviewed, say, a Backstreet Boys album in my Amazon reviews. Max Martin, the guy who wrote a majority of hits for Backstreet Boys, Britney et al, writes great pop songs, and I've never had a problem with boybands if they're, well, good boy bands. The 90s saw an explosion in girl and boy groups, and the vast majority of them were absolute shit, the very definition of what pop music shouldn't be.
When X Factor and American Idol started dominating the charts with bland, one dimensional pop phonies, it made me appreciate genuine chart STARS like Justin, Britney and the like even more.
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Post by InvisibleWolfMan on Aug 5, 2009 17:58:26 GMT 2
Perhaps Trashy just hasn't heard SEXYBACK the right way....if he did he'd enjoy it better! So, let's rectify that problem... Now, don't you like it a WHOLE lot better?  |
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Aug 5, 2009 18:47:48 GMT 2
If I have one mission in life - it is to one day, one glorious day, see Troll 2.
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Post by InvisibleWolfMan on Aug 5, 2009 20:35:28 GMT 2
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Aug 5, 2009 20:42:35 GMT 2
Hmmmm... yes, I may have to own this. Thanks for the link, Wolfy - just what I don't need...!
Check out the plot for the first movie, though..
~ The Potter family move into a new apartment building. Harry Potter Sr. [Michael Moriarty], Harry Potter Jr., and Wendy Potter [Harry Jr's sister] soon suspect that there is something amiss within the building. An old troll - Torok - wishes to restore thw world back to that in which he once lived in. He has chosen the apartment block as a base to work his black magic from. His ex-wife - a kindly witch called Eunice St. Clair - with the help of young Harry - attempts to prevent Torok from using Wendy's body as a conduit to begin transforming the tenants one-by-one into hideous creatures ~
I always knew that J.K Rowling was a thieving bitch.
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Post by trashcanman on Aug 5, 2009 23:10:14 GMT 2
Nice. But do me a favor, C, and listen to the MUSIC in those songs. Forget the vocals and the attractiveness of the singers and all that and just isolate the track for "Get Your Freak On".
That's FOUR SOLID MINUTES of a children's keyboard going ding-ding-ding-ding-dong-dong (that is exactly 2 notes) and a beat that is almost entirely limited to a single bass drum going thump-thump-thump. A fucking five year old with Down Syndrome could write better music then that. Using a synthesizer to make another two note riff sound larger then it is does not impress me. I'm not saying you have to be Eddie Van Halen, but at least learn how to play an instrument at a second grade level.
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Aug 6, 2009 9:07:58 GMT 2
Yeah, OK, it's a minimalist beat, but a plethora of hip hop tracks are just looped samples of old songs. What about "My Name Is" by Eminem? Four minutes of the same bouncing chord. What about Kiss by Prince? A stark drumbeat and not much else. Whatever works, man.
If this was the only sound Timbaland could do, then fair enough, the "talentless" accusation would stand (don't get me wrong, though - he's provided the world with a lot of shit as well), but what about the musical bombast he provided to, say, Cry Me a River? Monks, beats, keyboard.. again, whatever works.
Oh, and I don't think anyone is going to be blinded by Missy Elliot's looks.. even if she seems to think she's smoking hot these days. Blurgh.
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Post by trashcanman on Aug 6, 2009 16:16:20 GMT 2
I never got Missy's appeal at all, frankly. Prince layers a lot of intricacies and musical textures over his songs. You know this. The individual parts may be simple by themselves, but together they are beautifully arranged and the songs have movement to them. It's not the same 3 seconds of music looped for 4 minutes straight. Most hip-hop tracks that use only one sample are crap. If they aren't, it's because the lyrics are great. I would listen to Mixmaster Mike and Terminator X's tracks with no vocals at all and still be wowed. Even a lot of Dre's tracks are very good instrumentals. But something like "My Name Is" or "Get Your Freak On" are completely unlistenable unless the rapper really brings the heat on the lyrics and delivery. Em did, and for my taste Missy did not. "Cry Me a River" isn't terrible or redundant musically so I can give him that one, but it still does not a thing for me. Sap just is not my thing. I can count the hit break-up songs I've heard that have even the tiniest amount of actual feeling in them on the fingers on one hand. And I'm not sure I could even name a recent one right now. They're all pretty much repetitive cynical garbage designed to relieve heartbroken little girls of mommy's cash. Oh really? Your girl/boyfriend cheated on you? That is SO deep! I totally identify with that! [snore]
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Aug 6, 2009 22:58:32 GMT 2
For the record, I actually hate Missy Elliot. Her old, critically acclaimed stuff (produced by your friend and mine) did nothing for me, her recent, big hitting stuff did nothing for me (especially since she lost weight and started going on about how "hot" she was - can't polish a turd, love) and her most recent stuff where she totally phones in half-assed guest raps on terrible songs with Pussycat Dolls etc is just appalling. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on Timbaland, Trash (and JT, for that matter). I've never had a problem with the guy, and anything he brings out I'll certainly give it a fair listen, and JT will remain one of those "hey, Justin's got a new song out" guys that I shout Mrs C through to watch on MTV or whatever. On to sappy love songs - I've always been a sucker for these; always. I hate saccharine, boring love songs and I detest wailing Mariah Carey type power ballad things, but pop songs about conditions of the heart? Bring them on. It's pop music, man - not RATM. In fact, d'you want to know one of my all-time favourite pop songs ever? This is listed as a 5-star track on my iPod, and it comes from one of the most irritating, vomit inducing British pop groups ever - Steps. They had a fucking stranglehold on the UK charts for what seemed like about 10 years, and most tracks were garbage, but this.. this is GENIUS, even if it is an obvious attempt to steal the Britney sound. And Trashy, I'd bet dollars to doughnuts you'll fucking HATE it!! www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9jXTQ9gMcw&feature=fvwNME quote: one of the best pop songs of this decade. Fuck YES. Now come on Trash - you have no time for any of this sort of stuff? |
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Post by trashcanman on Aug 7, 2009 16:05:05 GMT 2
Nope. It's utterly indistinguishable from all of the other tween crap going around for the past decade. With so much creativity out there going unheard and unappreciated, there's no way I can even attempt to give play to those overexposed corporate sounds. But every now and then a cheesy pop tune will strike a chord with me like that "Untouched" song. Or how about this one? www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOCRPrEAVxU See? I'm not a complete pop music ogre. I can honestly say that one doesn't sound like anything else I've heard and yeah, I kinda get happy when I hear it. It's bad, but in a good kind of way. Here's another one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXajdHbZ5oYGood GOD that girl's hot. It's worth noting that she was not only in "Dracula 2000", but she was in it sans clothing. My kind of pop tart. |
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Post by Amaranth on Aug 16, 2009 9:34:25 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COMNPR here in the US gushed over this release and gave the Cornell/Timbaland duo an ecstatic interview. You're only reviewing ONE song from this wretched release? Man up and drub the whole album! You know you want to!
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