So, anyone died from Swine Flu yet?

[The Curmudgeon]

Because, the way the media in the UK are acting right now, I should be the only man alive in the world.

So now that the nation's angel Jade Goody (don't look her up, you'd be sorry if you did) has finally died, we need something else to worry about. So, Swine Flu it is, then.

Check out this latest brain-storm from our Health Service.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmYjFmQI5KA&feature=related

That's the abridged version. The full version actually has the elevator saying to the people in the lift. "Going Down... yes, that's right, you're all going DOWN!" So now, thanks to that million pound advert, we know now to cover our mouths when we sneeze. I didn't know that, did you? Stuff you learn, huh? Although judging by the volume of that guys sneeze, I don't think a tissue would do. I think his fucking nose exploded.

Spot the difference; last year, Bird Flu was the world's Rage Virus that we somehow all survived despite being told we were all doomed. "Bird Flu: It's Here" screamed one tabloid, and suddenly if you happened to sneeze you were pretty much condemned to death.

This year, Swine Flu is the world's Rage Virus that we'll also somehow survive despite being told we are all doomed. "Swine Flu: It's Here" screamed one tabloid, (the SAME tabloid!) and suddenly if you happened to sneeze you were pretty much condemned to death.

It's a tricky puzzle, so I'll give you a second to work it out.

Basically, there's a flu virus going around. Say it like that and people will shrug and ask what's new. Put a scary word on the front like SWINE and suddenly every idiot in the world is panicking and the newspapers are suddenly suggesting we all walk around like this dick.



Seriously, that's what they're suggesting. You can even buy them. If I don't get one that looks like Hannibal Lector's mask then NO SALE.

So that's life right now in the UK, and anything slightly Mexican is now suddenly infected. True story, 12 Mexican kids who live in England
were quarantined - just because they happened to be Mexican. That's how insane everything is right now. And if you dare scoff at the whole situation, you're tut-tutted at for being facetious and it'll be a different story when it happens to you etc etc. Well, just like the lottery, it WON'T be you. And I don't buy into that either.

Couple of questions for our UK Dwellers - are you face-palming every day with this shit? And for our American (and indeed, Finish) Dwellers - has this madness hit you yet?

[pauless]

Best just to ignore it - like everything else in the tabloids. I even double check the football results by Teletext...

The WHO recently stated that the UK is the 'country best prepared for an outbreak of SF' - and why?
Because we've still got huge stockpiles of drugs that weren't used treating the Bird Flu epidemic that didn't happen last year - and it's the same drug for the two diseases.

Fore-warned is fore-armed, no?

[trashcanman]

Do yourself a favor and rent a Korean monster movie called "The Host". It has some pretty sharp satire about the whole situation (SARS was obviously the inspiration) and is a damn fine horror film to boot. This madness has indeed hit us. I spent TWO ENTIRE DAYS at work fucking spit-polishing entire rooms filled with stainless steel factory equipment coated in dust and powder, including pipes that were ten feet off of the ground (now that was fun) to impress some fucking auditors. The dicks canceled the audit because they didn't want to come this close to Mexico on a plane. Well, it's good to know I didn't almost break my neck and develop carpal tunnel syndrome for nothing. Thanks, you paranoid retards, you.

People in Mexico die from it because they don't have any medical care unless you are rich. ONE person in America has died and it was an infant whose mother came across the border in a desperate attempt to get medical help in Texas. Hardly counts. So basically, what we are dealing with is the flu. Anybody here had the flu before? What? Everyone has? THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU AFRAID OF!!! Bugs go around and then our bodies develop antibodies and the problem takes care of itself. This is simply how it works. Unless it's Captain Trips killing nearly everybody it touches there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Wear all the medical masks you want. That way, I know to avoid contact with you. Stupidity: now that's contagious.