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Post by The Curmudgeon on Nov 23, 2009 14:59:43 GMT 2
 This Boyle needs lanced.Well, here's a refreshing change. This being an American site, your humble narrator usually has to explain who these creatures that have emerged from the British reality swamp actually are. Most drones from the likes of X Factor and Britain's Got Talent are people you have quite rightly never heard of, so the first paragraph of these reviews are usually an explanation of why their empty, dead eyes are staring back at you on the cover of a CD. But, of course, you already know who Susan Boyle is. Thanks to her performance on Britain's Got Talent, her weird, squashed face was on every newspaper, magazine, internet site and milk carton (alas, that part isn't true), not only in the UK - but seemingly the entire world. She was on talk shows. She was on the news - she was everywhere. So what exactly did she do that stopped the world spinning and the sun shining? She sang. On a talent show. And that was it. Yet for all the unbelievably stupid, obscene amount of fuss being made, for all the ludicrous soundbites from oily slimeballs like Piers Morgan and every cretinous "OMG she haz da voice of an angil" comment on Youtube (arguably the biggest asset in Boyle's rise to fame), her performance wasn't really THAT great. Surprising, perhaps, but the way people were banging on about it you'd think her kneecaps started singing while she flew around the air farting marshmallows. All it came down to was the fact that she had a nice voice - let's make this clear, not an AMAZING voice - and the fact she looks like Popeye in a dress. And THAT is the only reason she is famous. If she had walked on stage looking like, say, the smoking hot opera singer Katherine Jenkins no-one would have cared. If she had been beautiful and performed the way she had she would have made it through to the next round, certainly, but there would barely be one column written about her in the newspapers. The fact she looked, acted (and probably smelled) like the sad, deranged grannies you get stuck next to on the bus was the ONLY reason people sat up and noticed her. But, anyway, we could talk about how this comments on our looks-dominated culture and how shallow the people who suddenly love this woman for the simple fact she can sing well. We could talk about that creepy way Boyle stands and nods her head when people talk to her, like she's either slowly absorbing the information or wondering what they'd look like with their flesh peeled off, but hey - it's an Amazon review about her ALBUM, right? Let's talk about that. Oh. Seems there's not an awful lot to talk about really. A few tedious new songs about her new life and how her Dream Came True(tm), including a song lifted from High School Musical carbon copy and big time super flop Britannia High, a TV show I'm SURE Boyle just adored. She also covers Madonna's You'll See, ruining it in the process, and sucks every bit of life and energy from Daydream Believer. And to every brainwashed simpleton bleating on about how good her version of Wild Horses is - go listen to the REAL version by the Rolling Stones. I know it's an actual band who actually wrote it for an actual album which is an alien concept to most of you, but THAT is how that song should sound; raw, emotional, REAL. Not Boyle's stuffed, overblown wail. This album will, and indeed already has, sold millions of copies, as every dribbling simpleton gets eaten up by the hype of a decent singer in a Mrs Potato Head shaped body. It means nothing, of course. Susan Boyle has not got the voice of an angel, she's not the second coming and this is not a record that anyone who actually appreciates music will own. It's perfect fodder for the buy one album a year brigade, perfect for baffled grannies and stupid people in general, who accept albums of cover versions as real music. They're to be pitied more than laughed at. But feel free to do both. It's a depressing state of affairs that a woman's general unattractiveness coupled with a decent voice can equal a million record sales, but that is the world in which we now live in. For anyone wanting genuine - and let me stress that word - passion, heart, soul and attitude, Susan Boyle, and all the other bland inoffensive puppets played by Simon Cowell, shouldn't even be an option. |
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Nov 23, 2009 15:16:54 GMT 2
Holy shit - my review has been up on Amazon for 15 minutes and I've already got NINETEEN negative scores. Ouch!
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Post by Marlene Michael on Nov 23, 2009 15:47:54 GMT 2
Love your reviews. The former teacher in me admires your writing, wit, grammar--basically the whole package.
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Post by AThomas on Nov 23, 2009 15:49:22 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
Seems to me that "someone" simply "can't handle the truth" that Celebrity is not a precondition for Talen. Perhaps the likes of Susan Boyle is too much of a shock to those who are so superficial that her very existence can not register in their vainity based scope of the world. Susan Boyle "sad"; no what's realy sad is that we have some among us that so much a product of our materialistic, superficial and celebrity driven society that they have lost their ability to simply be and enjoy the experience of being human.
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Post by Brian Shaw on Nov 23, 2009 15:50:19 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
Huh?
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Nov 23, 2009 16:06:50 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
Yeah I think Brian summed up what we're all thinking on that one.
Don't you get it, Thomas? She's ONLY famous because of the way she looks. That's my entire point - if she HAD been beautiful no-one would have cared.
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Post by Leslie Able on Nov 23, 2009 16:07:36 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
YES!!!!
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Post by Brian Shaw on Nov 23, 2009 16:08:14 GMT 2
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Curmudgeon:
The "huh?" was intended for you.
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Post by Sirdh on Nov 23, 2009 16:08:53 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
What happened to you, accidentally eat nails for breakfast???
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Post by The Curmudgeon on Nov 23, 2009 16:09:46 GMT 2
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Well I'm glad you cleared that up, Brian. Had us all wondering about that one.
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Carolyn Solchenberge
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Post by Carolyn Solchenberge on Nov 23, 2009 16:11:43 GMT 2
I just want to say that you must be a mean soul.
Regardless of her looks you have to admit she has a beautiful voice. You may not like her style or prefer
the original artist to her but still she has a voice that is truly wonderful.
I agree that the audience (some of them pretty horrid looking themselves!) prejudged her.
I on the other hand was always of the opinion to not judge someone regardless - so I watched her with
an open mind and waited to her what she had to sing. I was so pleased to hear her sing. What a wonderful,
beautiful voice! When I saw the looks of astonishment I had to wonder about the British people. Did they
think that just because someone looks like Susan means they have nothing good about them? Are the British
really so shallow? It appears they are!
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Post by TTodd on Nov 23, 2009 16:21:45 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
It boils down to the fact that she is and was "real"...there is nothing fake about this woman. She went out and sang the way she really sings, looked the way really she lookes and acted the way she really acts. No show, no team of "image" builders around her. It was just Susan, raw and real. People identify with that...we want real, honest people. That is why she is so popular and selling so many albums.
And the fact that she is so real makes her so beautiful as well...from the inside out. We all know there are some people in the spotlight that seem so sweet and nice on the surface...but in reality they are rude and self centered... and it makes us not like them so much anymore.
Attitude, Character, Behavior...these are what makes a person who they are, the "ABC's" of life. Susan Boyle has learned what the "ABC's" of life mean...and places the word Good before each one of them. Many others know the "ABC's" of life as well, but choose to place the word Bad in from of them.
So, while I may not by the album, simply because it is not my style of music...I do appeciate her sweet voice, and the fact that she is real. And I will continue to enjoy videos and interviews of this woman, she is an inspiration to us all...whether we realize it or not.
Oh, and I will suggest to anyone who likes this style of music to buy the album. She deserves the success...money can't buy everything, but for a moment it can counter act negative comments that have been shot at her for months now. Plus, she has such a tender heart, I'm sure she will do wonderful, unselfish things with the money she really doesn't need.
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Post by Paulie1964 on Nov 23, 2009 16:22:33 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
Curmudgeon.....oh what a joy you must be to be around. Perhaps that is why you have so much time to waste on your inane review. Dude, seriously get a life....you'd be funny if you weren't so pathetic.
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Post by Jennifer Terry on Nov 23, 2009 16:25:59 GMT 2
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I hate to say it, but I agree with your review.....it's too true. Unkind, but true.
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Post by Molly on Nov 23, 2009 16:46:29 GMT 2
ORIGINAL COMMENT FROM AMAZON.COM
I'm sorry you have a tin ear and cannot enjoy the thrill of hearing Susan Boyle sing. You are missing the experience of a century. She could be Miss Universe and I would still love hearing her sing. You are just as wrong about her fans as you can be. I feel certain you have not bought or listened to her CD.
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